Strings of Solace

Chapter 8

As Stephen stopped the car, I tried to unbuckle my seatbelt, but somehow, no matter what I did, I couldn't get it off. It was like my mortification had no end. I was going from one blunder to another.

"Let me help you," Stephen said, leaning towards me and proceeding to unbuckle the troublesome contraption effortlessly.

Surprisingly, his proximity didn't make me panic like I expected, like it often happened in the past, which was an enormous relief. After all, I wasn't sure I was ready to explain my dislike for men, about never having dated before, and so on and on.

It turned out that I trusted Stephen far more than I thought. In the past, I flinched away from any male touch. However, considering how many of the men I knew were insensitive brutes, was it any wonder that I wanted to avoid physical contact with them?

It all probably started in high school when I heard how disrespectfully the boys talked about girls they slept with, and how they lacked a sense of sensitivity or respect. Also, it didn't help that many of my friends experienced sexual assault or molestation. So, it's no surprise I had lost all trust in men. My logic was better safe than sorry, as I wasn't sure if I could deal with such a traumatic situation if it happened to me.

Luckily, I didn't have any disturbing experiences of that kind. The closest I got was when someone grabbed my butt at a party in passing. Because the place was crowded, I didn't know who did it. If I had figured out who it was, they would have sported a black eye to match their black souls. The problem was that this event destroyed even the tiny amount of trust I had because all those present were my high school friends, people I trusted the most.

"Mina, Mina!" Stephen exclaimed like someone who had been calling someone's name for a long time. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, sorry," I said apologetically. "I just got lost in my thoughts."

Then, I pressed my lips tightly together, hurriedly exiting the car before he could ask any more questions that my nervousness might force me to answer. He didn't have to know that I was afraid of most men because of what had happened to my cousin and what kept happening in the world.

And even though I knew I was being unfair, that all men weren't just on the lookout to take advantage of women, I just couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that any man could be a potential harasser. After all, the person who assaulted my cousin was a family member who should have been safe. If even family wasn't safe, how could you know a stranger didn't have something dark like that in them?

With Stephen, however, all that fear seemed to melt away. He was just a nice person trying his best to be liked, and I couldn't find any flaw in that.

"Don't you know you should wait for the gentleman to come out and open the door for you?" Stephen asked, smiling brightly at me.

I hadn't even noticed when he came to stand by my side, as I was so disoriented by the quick trip down memory lane. The flashbacks had weird timing because this was the one time I wasn't afraid. Maybe the contrast was so shocking that it made me compare the two feelings.

"And don't you know that gentlemen have died out with the dinosaurs?" I said jokingly, surprising even myself by how relaxed I felt.

"I guess some of them were lucky enough to survive," Stephen said, offering me his arm again.

"I guess so," I said, tentatively accepting the offered arm, as there was no way I would get used to that.

"So why this place?" I asked Stephen as we entered the small Italian restaurant, the only Italian restaurant in our town.

"I know you like pasta, so I thought we might as well go here, the closest to Italy that we can get for the time being," Stephen said, holding the door open for me.