Strings of Solace

Chapter 5

With nothing more to be said, Stephen and I parted ways with the agreement that we would meet the next day and go out on our first official fake date in the city gardens. Of course, we were to tell other people we had been dating for a while, but we were unsure if we would work out since we were in a long-distance relationship. However, our love had only grown, so we made it known. Something along those lines.

When I returned home that day, my brain felt so scrambled that I didn't know what to think or do. My mind felt like a bomb had exploded, and I tried to pick up the fragments and rebuild my scattered thoughts.

"Did I just propose to a guy?" One thought kept spinning round and round, making me dizzy.

My usual trick to calm my mind didn't work, and I was panicking as everything was getting to be a bit too much. I never thought that far ahead and didn't know it would be so overwhelming.

"Did he just say yes?" Another persistent thought kept ricocheting inside my skull.

My cell's loud ringtone felt like a knife piercing through my head, but it effectively refocused my thoughts as I saw it was my sister calling. My manipulative, self-centered, and painfully honest sister.

"Hey, sis! What are you up to?" Her overly cheerful voice chirped the moment I picked up the phone. "Doing nothing useful with your life as per usual? How about coming to Rattenberg? The children miss their aunt, and Mark and I are going through some stuff. Anyway, it sure would be nice for you to spend quality time with your nieces and nephews, right?"

It wasn't uncommon for Rebecca to keep prattling on about herself, not even waiting for me to reply to her questions, because she didn't actually care about my life. But this time, Rebecca caught me at just the wrong moment. I was tired, confused, and had no patience for her.

She never asked whether I could or wanted to do something. She just insisted, nagged, and manipulated me until I agreed to do things her way. Yet, I always let her do it. It was partially because my sense of self-worth was almost non-existent, but partially because she was family. I knew that if I said all that I was thinking and feeling, we might never speak to each other again because the last thing she wanted to hear was the ugly truth.

"Sorry, sis. I can't come to Rattenberg now. I have other plans," I said sternly, trying to stop the anger from garnishing my assertive sentences.

"Huh?" Rebecca said, stumped, as if my 'no' had fried her brain in its unexpectedness. "What could be more important to you than family? Haven't I always told you that family comes first, no matter what?"

Interestingly, those words were always said when she needed something from me. This time, it was probably babysitting while she and her husband tried to repair the marriage that was going nowhere because it was neither based on love nor respect.

However, when I needed something, she was never there for me. The 'stupid little things' like my graduation didn't matter to her enough. She didn't come, even though she promised she would. Even when I told her I had graduated from a university that everyone said was the hardest in the country, she said everyone could do it, that it was nothing special.

It made me boil with rage, but I did my best to keep a lid on it because no matter how much she knew how to push my buttons, I knew her weaknesses, too. I could make her rethink her stance on some things (although that didn't work for too many things).

"You have also told me that getting a husband was one of the most important things in life," I said, targeting the area I knew was her weakness. "Well, I promised my boyfriend I would spend time with him, and we hope to become more than just boyfriend and girlfriend soon."