nine

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*trigger warning for violence*

April 12, 2094

LAUREN

I hadn't slept all night. Instead I found myself pacing back and forth all around my hotel room. I was sure I had walked around the entire space around fifty times before the sun rose. I would sit on the couch for a while before I became antsy once again and had to get up. I stood on the balcony for a couple of hours until the car horns and commotion started giving me a headache. I ordered room service just because even though I knew I wasn't going to eat it. I didn't know why I was going crazy. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't think straight. My head was clouded with images of the girl. Well, more like memories of me and her together. One second I would remember us lying in bed together laughing and kissing, and the next second I would picture her dying at the hands of Val...or myself.

Everything was so conflicting. I couldn't get the contradictory images out of my head. I couldn't tell if I was supposed to save her, or if I was supposed to kill her. I wanted to believe it was the former, but I couldn't have been sure. The second I would tell myself to leave New York and leave the girl behind, Val's voice would ring through my head right after, washing out any hope I had for possibly saving the girl's life. I was under Val's control, yet I was also under the spell the girl had on me.

I grew frustrated at my thoughts and hastily stood up from the couch where I had been sitting for the past hour. I began my pacing once again, and I was sure I was going to leave track marks on the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut out of frustration as another memory of the girl and I invaded its way into my head. My former self was trying to come through, to remind me that what I was doing was wrong. According to the memories, I loved the girl. It seemed as though I ached without her. But the side of me that was controlled by Val, that side of me wanted nothing more than to see her killed. My blood boiled at just the sight of her. I didn't know how much longer I would be on that roller coaster of emotions, but I hoped it would end soon.

I grabbed a glass vase off the top of a table and smashed it against the ground. The light blue pieces scattered across the floor. Another memory. I could practically feel her hand in mine, and it burned at the thought. I shuffled over to the fireplace and shoved everything off of the mantle onto the floor. Pictures frames broke, and the little trinkets rolled across the hardwood. My chest heaved in and out, grabbing my hair out of frustration as the memories kept flowing in. I couldn't get them to stop. I felt overwhelmed. If I would have known better, I would have thought I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I suddenly turned around when it felt like I was being watched. I immediately looked out my window to see someone across the street was looking at me through their curtains. As soon as they saw me, they closed them. I furrowed my brow and walked into the small kitchen, taking a deep breath as the memories seemed to stop for the meantime. I looked at my watch and decided to go ahead and meet the scientist's protégé at the local café. Anything to get me out of that hotel room. I grabbed a jacket and headed out the door, hailing a taxi and finding myself waiting at a table inside the café. I found a seat next to the large windows and ordered myself a coffee even though it was just going to get cold. I looked out the window just in time to see the girl I was searching for run into a man on the street, spilling his drink. It was like her and I's hearts were attached by a string. Whenever we were in close proximity of each other, they would pull and pull until my chest ached. It was like no matter how far apart we were or how tangled the string became, we would always find a way to each other, and the string would unravel until it was straight again.

I kept watching as the duo across the street gravitated towards each other, and I became jealous. It was my former self, but I couldn't control it. I had to follow the girl. I decided that I would call the guy I was supposed to meet and cancel our meeting. I reached into my pocket and dialed the number Val had given me. I kept an eye on the girl as I did so, but I was bewildered when the guy she was talking to began digging in his pocket. The phone rang three times before he picked up. It was the same guy from across the street. My eyes widened, and I clenched my jaw. Did they know each other?

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