Episode 17: Nehnique Learns Kung Fu
After embarrassing herself at the Chinese restaurant, Nehnique became obsessed. She cornered Li Wei, the waiter.
Nehnique: "Li Wei, you must teach me Kung Fu. I want to be Nigerian Jackie Chan!"
Li Wei (hesitant): "It's not easy. It takes years of discipline."
Nehnique (posing): "Don't worry, I watched Kung Fu Panda three times. I'm ready."
The Training Begins
They met at the school field the next day. Li Wei showed her the basic stance.
Li Wei: "Stand firm, bend your knees."
Nehnique: "Like this?"
She bent so low her trousers ripped. Everyone around burst into laughter.
Next, he taught her a simple punch. She punched the air dramatically, shouting:
Nehnique: "Hiiiyaaaah!"
But her fist missed balance, and she punched herself in the stomach.
Animal Styles Wahala
Li Wei explained:
Li Wei: "Kung Fu has animal styles: Tiger, Crane, Snake, Monkey—"
Nehnique (interrupting): "I claim Monkey style! It matches my destiny."
She climbed a tree nearby, jumped down like Tarzan, and landed flat on her backside.
Nehnique (groaning): "This monkey is injured."
The Final Kick
Li Wei demonstrated a high kick. Nehnique tried to copy. She lifted her leg halfway, lost balance, and flew backward, landing inside a bucket of water.
Everyone watching screamed with laughter.
Nehnique (soaked but proud): "Yes! That was called Splashing Dragon Technique."
Li Wei (facepalming): "You're not learning Kung Fu... you're inventing comedy."
From that day, students nicknamed her "Shaolin Wahala." Nehnique insisted she was now a certified martial artist—specializing in Falling Down Style.
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Operation trouble unlimited
FantasyEvery family has that one person who can turn ordinary life into drama. In my family, that person is Nehnique. If you ask her to buy bread, she will return with puff-puff and a long story about how the bread seller chased her with a broom. If you se...
