From one proxy to another proxy [Ticcimask]

Chap. 14: Remorse Is the Poison of Life

—Exaggerated—he came in and sat on the bed and left on the nightstand a food storage container with water and ice, next to the soup—. Lemme see.

He pulled the sheets down leaving his face uncovered, his eyes quickly closed in the light. 

—Where's Hoodie?

—Drinking coffee—he said wetting a rag and placing it on his forehead. 

—It's frozen! 

—Do you want to lower the fever? 

He snorted with an angry face but didn't object. 

After a few minutes he started feeling better.

—You still here? —he asked with the rag covering his forehead and eyes.

—Yeah...

—You can leave...

It was often awkward being together, although they had recently made progress, but Toby was feeling vulnerable tonight and didn't want Masky to see him like that. 

—You look like a tomato.

—Eh?!

—A sweaty one...

—Shut up.

—Whatever—as he settled into his seat, his gaze shifted to the nightstand. There was the soup, now warm. 

He watched it for seconds mentally debating whether to do it or not. 

—Fuck it—he said and took the plate.

—What are you saying?

—Shut up and open your mouth.

—Wha-

—Do it!

He hesitated for seconds but he opened his mouth slowly, with his eyes still covered, he felt the metal of the spoon hitting his teeth. 

—Open your mouth bigger.

—D-don't say it like that!

—Damn it Rogers, you had to do it weird! 

—It is! I can't even see you and you tell me to open my mouth...

And they were in an awkward situation, again.

—Since now you will only open your mouth to eat and when i say it. No chatting—Masky said frowning, trying not to show his embarrassment—. Open.

He put the spoon inside Toby's mouth ahain.

After a while, he left the empty plate on the nightstand.

—Not a word of this to Hoodie...

—Right, because i'm dying to let him know i was fed like a baby...

—Whatever... how you're feeling? —he asked with serenity in his voice.

—Better...

—Good.

He sat next to Toby for a while longer, his gaze was lost on his mouth. 

—I didn't remember it was that big.

—What?

—Your wound. 

—Don't look at it... —he answered and turned his back on him.

—I've seen it million times.

—Yeah? Well not anymore.

—Child—he took the rag and let it soak—. Sit.

Toby sat without complaining, looking away to prevent him from continuing to look at his wound. 

—Move your arm.

He moved his arm a bit and Masky placed the thermometer again. Looking up at him for a few seconds, he noticed Toby was avoiding eye contact. 

—Stop doing that—he said grabbing his cheeks with one hand, forcing him to look at him. 

Toby's eyes expressed surprise, and he swallowed without answering. His breathing and heartbeat began to increase; he didn't expect Masky's face to be so close to his. 

—...Doing what? —he asked in a soft voice, without taking his eyes off him at any time. 

—Not looking at me.

Contrary to Toby's surprised look, Masky's expressed a slight anger.

For the first time in years they they held each other's gaze for more than 10 seconds, it was also the first time they were so close to each other in a context other than a fight... or at least Toby didn't feel like a fight. 

The sound of the thermometer brought them out of that trance. 

—Well your temperature came down... —said looking at the thermometer and getting up.

Toby didn't say anything, his gaze was lost somewhere in the room. Masky gave her a small sideways glance. 

—You can sleep now... and cover yourself or you'll catch a cold—his now indifferent voice didn't match his words that were meant to show concern... or perhaps he was trying to hide it. 

He raised his hand a few inches from Toby's head, slightly bent, intending to give him a friendly caress. 

But he didn't.

He just left.