From one proxy to another proxy [Ticcimask]

Chap. 10: Castle in the Sky

Toby narrates 

I spent the rest of the day in my room. 

It's not fair...

A kid will never see his family again and will probably die. His family will never know what happend, where is he, is he alive? The guilt and the uncertainty will destroy them. 

About me, killing men makes me feel pleasure. My whole life i've seen horrible men... starting with my father.

Thanks to him i grew up being a scared child, he respected no one, not even his own family.

Nowadays i'm not longer that crybaby who was so afraid of his father, i'm a murderer...

I kill people, mostly men, a few times women but never kids or animals.

I sighed.

What's the point of playing moralist at this point of my life? I'm someone who has given up his rights, someone you'd be glad to know ha's been sentenced to death... but i'm not someone i'm a murderer.

So much philosophy was driving me crazy so i went out of my room, i needed some noise. 

As i went out i could feel their eyes, they were sitting and watching tv.

I don't want to hear any of them, they both think i'm useless... and they're right.

I didn't want to keep thinking bullshit so i practiced my aim by throwing axes at a tree.

Who would think it? I'm not that bad at that.

—Good aim—i turned around instantly, it was Masky.

—I don't notice sarcasm in your compliment for the first time, do you need a favor or what? —i kept throwing my axes and i could hear him laugh. That's weird. 

—I don't need a favor, actually i came to give you an order.

—Screw you. 

—Follow me.

—What? No, leave.

—I said follow me.

I turned around again to tell him to leave but he was walking away in some direction of the forest.

—I hate you Tim.

I started to hurry, it was night and the little moonlight was not useful at all.

When i caught up with him, it was because he had stopped to light a cigarette. 

—You could've waited for me.

—That's what i'm doing—he blew smoke in your face, i didn't do anything but frown—. And when i give you an order you obey... Rogers. Follow me.

—More?!

He started walking again, i quickened my pace, this time he won't leave me behind.

We arrived at a part of the forest where there weren't many trees so we could see the sky and the stars well. 

—Woah, it's been years since i watched them...

—A couple of years ago i used to come here with our dear mutual friend, Brian, but you can tell how he ended, bitter and just talk about tasks and rules—we laughed.

Masky is responsible but Hoodie is the strict one. 

Sometimes i feel sorry for him, i don't think he knows fun or rest, he probably doesn't remember them... 

Tim lay down on the grass to get a good look at the sky, still smoking. I did the same from a considerable distance. 

—If you didn't hate me i would think you set this up as a date—i said without expecting his laughter in return, i couldn't help smiling. It's one of the few moments where he's not looking for an argument with me.

—I'm a romantic, what can i say.

—Very. 

My smile remained for a bit longer and then vanished. 

—I'm a failure...

—Course not, you did what you had to.

—Yeah but... i didn't want to—my voice was fading away, damn it.

—The first time is always like that. I felt terrible for a week. And to be honest, i rather smell like a dead animal than kidnapping, so don't feel bad for feeling bad—Masky was speaking so calmly, without treating me like an idiot as he usually does. 

—So how can i feel better about it?

—Just understand nothing is optional, we receive orders, we follow them, or we die. Simple.

—And that's all? We do what a freak says or we die? 

—Practically.

—Do you ever get tired?  

—...

After this incredibly long conversation we returned to our natural interaction, silence.

—I did once, i was ready to run away... That ship has sailed, now this is all i got, all i do.

—We should do it.

He laughed and threw away his cigarette, sat down and took something out of his pocket. 

—Since you and Hoodie took the car and i didn't want to walk to the city, i went through his shit, here—he threw me an ointment—. Don't know if it's gonna work tho.

He stood up and left.

It was for my abdomen...

Masky was being nice to me and i didn't know if i liked it 

or if it scared me...