From one proxy to another proxy [Ticcimask]

Chap. 2: I Only Miss Her When I'm Breathing

Masky narrates

I was lying on a hospital stretcher, and i had a hospital gown obviously. I found myself looking through the window, there was no one else.

The smell of alcohol, the pain in my arm from a recent blood draw for a checkup, the sound of the wheels of a metal table spinning, they felt so real.

So she opened the door, i didn't need to turn around to know it was her, i already knew by heart her way and the noise she makes when walking.

—You're free to go, Tim.

I didn't answer, didn't turn around, i was static. I just wanted to be in her arms and hear her voice for a long time.

—I love you...

She said nothing back, i closed my eyes and i took a deep breath.

—You know i do too... but you must go, now. Get dressed and leave, Tim.

—Let's run away, Ann, together—i took her arm, her face showed surprise.

The silence wouldn't finish, her reyes were wide open and looking at mine, my hand was still holding her arm tight, the smell of alcohol kept in my nose, i wanted to kiss her so badly.

—No.

And i woke up.

It was a dream...

A very real one, a... memory.

A memory.

Just that.

I got out of the bed with no energy, i was cold, i was sweating.

Why did i have to dream that? It happened years ago.

I got dressed and went downstairs.

—Where's Hoodie? —i asked after seeing Toby eating cereal.

—I dunno—he kept eating.

I sat in front of him, with no intention of keep talking.

—Why you have that face? I mean, is not like you have a nice face in the mornings... or ever, but today it's very noticeable—he said it with a smile.

—None of your business—i lit a cigarette and put it in my mouth.

—C'mon you don't have to be so cold, Tim...

—Don't you ever call me that again, you heard me?! —i stood up placing my hands on the table noisly, the cigarette was now on the floor.

Toby looked at me with surprise, that look reminded me of hers...

He sallowed and didn't answer.

I decided to leave, i was furious.

I don't like being called that, not anymore. Not after her.