The Ger Is A Part Timer [BL]

~ 44 ~

A/N: As promised, here's the chapter for November. Enjoy!

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Hidden behind the four walls of a dimly lit, sterile underground infirmary room was a guilt that consumed an entire person's being.

Gazef had woken up with his arm bandaged and sore. At first, the confusion made him wary of his surroundings; unsure why there was soft humming and beeping sounds coming from his bedside.

But then the memory hit him.

His body stiffened and he sat up immediately, disregarding the dizziness and the curtain of darkness closing in within his vision. Disoriented, he did not register the person sitting on the dark corner of his room until the movement barely caught his attention.

"You're finally awake", Fernis, who was reading data and reports off from his terminal's holographic screen, immediately reverted to private screen mode the moment he saw Gazef awaken.

However, the further silence cut him off. The conversation partner was not interested in conversing, nor looking at him, or so it seemed. The person just clutched his head, bent over in heavy silence.

Fernis observed quietly, realizing that there's nothing he could say now to Gazef that would change anything or snap him out of his self-inflicted mental torture. The only person that could was still asleep inside the adjacent room. Fernis could have asked if Gazef wanted to see Yu Yan, but after finding out the latter's identity, he had his own plans and wanted to distance the couple for his ulterior motives.

In the end, Fernis walked to the door and uttered a reminder to Gazef's deaf ears before exiting the room, "It's best for you to rest for a few more days to recover the blood you lost. Get better soon."

Gazef glanced at the door after Fernis left. He heard him, and yet he doesn't think he deserved to.

That day, all sense of reason was lost the second he took hold of Yu Yan in his arms. The surge of primal need and hunger whispered brutal thoughts to claim him...like a beast in heat. He nearly surrendered to that desire — ready to fall into its terminus.

If, in that moment, Yu Yan hadn't sobbed and clutched his arm with shaking fingers...he may not have been able to use all his remaining reason and will to redirect his fangs from Yu Yan's nape to his own flesh.

His dark eyes gazed back to the wound on his arm. He touched it with his other hand, then held it and squeezed until the wound reopened and fresh blood seeped out from the bandages. He sighed and bent over again, almost as if in silent prayer.

The room was quiet but on the contrary, his heart and mind were loud with agony.

Indeed, the guilt and self-loathing ate him. He almost wished for it to consume his entire being because now he didn't know how to face the person he was supposed to cherish the most.

He despaired at the thought of bringing fear to his most beloved person.

—

The following days of recuperation were a blur to Yu Yan. When he was well enough, he packed his belongings to return to their dorm — yet there was nothing to pack, really.

Faced with the familiar dorm room number, Yu Yan took a big puff of air and exhaled nervously. He opened the door to hear soft voices in the kitchen and the smell of burnt fried food. It felt good to be back, making him relaxed.

Suddenly, a person came out of the kitchen and Yu Yan froze at the realization of who it was. The other person flinched at his familiar presence, but not once did he ever glance Yu Yan's way.