Not Me : 🎨 Yok's Tapestry 🔻this Is Not a Yok/Dan story🔻

Twenty one 🎨

I sat back, stunned.....sure I'd heard Sammy say Finn left the country.... nope can't be .... Sitting forward I ask Sammy to repeat what she just said.

"I said home Yok. He went home, back where he came from...." "But he said ....he ... Why would he?.... I don't understand Sammy...." I felt a coldness , spreading over my body, I felt the heat drain from my heart and my home .. "He said he loved me, he did.... He said......" " Yok I think you need to calm down."

"Explain it to me Yok, help me understand what happened since you went on that mission. I'm the one that started you thinking it was Danai back from the dead. Walk me through it Yok."

"When we discovered those urns, it didn't feel like it was people who partnered with Tawi. On the contrary I think it was the opposite. The words , Tawi's words I must assume, engraved there, as if spat with venom, like he was degrading these people in death because he couldn't do it while they were alive. My impression and I have no proof of this except my intuition, my impression was that these individuals had evoked so much hatred from Tawi and it could only be because they worked against him.

We found out later that Dan had been a spy in Tawi's inner ring, providing information that would lead to Tawi spending many years locked up. I think Tawi killed them, cremated them and kept their ashes as trophies.

If Danai was in that urn the whole time, then he was never guilty of all the things we accused him of. It means he died in that accident, shot. Tawi took him out at the time we believed he died, we just didn't bury him like we thought we did, because Tawi buried him, in his vault.

That night, when I came home, I should've spoken to Finn, I should've made him understand, it wasn't about him..... It was my guilt. I was ready to believe the worst of Danai. Me ...." Banging my chest, banging the heart that said I loved someone but turned on him in a such a manner.

" I betrayed Dan and I had the gall to say it wasn't because of revenge, I was just following the evidence. I believed Dan was the bad guy, I believed he was capable of murder, of hurting me. I believed the worst of the man I claimed to have loved, the man I say I had forgiven and yet at the first accusation of Dan .... I folded."

"When I came from seeing that burial trophies, that guilt had begun to fester in my gut. How could I face Finn knowing I betrayed Dan in the worst way. How could I explain to Finn I wasn't the man he thought I was. I hid in shame, how could I expect Finn to love me when I couldn't spend five minutes defending Dan. How can I be a support to Finn if I fell apart this easily.

I needed a moment to sort myself. I needed to apologize to Danai, not because of him but because of me, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. I needed to .... to make amends, to forgive myself. How else would I be able to move forward ?"

"Is that why you went to the island?" "Yes. I wasn't running away from Finn ....or to Dan... I was running from the thoughts in my head, thoughts that had begun to scare me. I needed........ an apology, to make an apology to Dan, to his family, to absolve me of the guilt I carried. I can't make you understand or feel what I felt Sammy .... I just wanted Dan to know I'm sorry and I wanted him to find peace. "

"You needed two weeks to do that?" "I needed to get my head on straight. I thought Finn would be here, waiting for me when I returned. I wasn't expecting to be away that long, I just needed to allow myself to forgive myself. " "And have you?" "I think so. I buried Danai on that island and all the feelings and emotions with it. I want to move towards my future with Finn now.

"Good luck then Yok. I truly hope Finn is able to forgive you. From this perspective It looked like Danai had
claimed you back, dead or alive , you went running. " "That's not.........." Sammy, holding up her hand like a traffic cop, shutting someone up, is surely an unlikely sight. " It's not me you need to convince."Finn left because he thought you left. You'll need to do something really amazing to win him back. "

Sammy walked away from me then. I lay my head on the table, feeling the tears threatening to overwhelm me. I was startled when I felt a hand touching me. I looked up into Sammy's eyes. "For what it's worth Yok, you and Finn both deserve a chance to be happy. Go find him ." She placed a scribbled note in my hand. For the second time she walked away. On the note was written Finn's details, business name and address.

I knocked on Mae's door. I showed her the note. "Mae I'm going to find Finn. " "Son, I love Finn. I do, but if you're not ready to give him everything, your good things and your heavy ugly baggage, you'll not only break your heart but also his. You need to make a sacrifice for him. Give up the past that you've been clinging to and invest completely in your future with Finn. If you cannot do that, then rather leave him be... I want the best for both of you. "

"I'm ready Mae. I love him.... Just him." "Well then what are you waiting for. Go fetch my son-in-law. " Mae immediately stepped out of her room and marched into mine. She started throwing things on my bed. "You'll need underwear, nice ones. Some t-shirts, here, these are the clean ones." She stopped all her actions for a minute and stared at me.... "Pack Yok. That flight ain't going to catch itself. "

I throw both arms around Mae, hugging her tightly. " You are the bestest mae in the whole world." "Later Yok. Go book your ticket. Maybe I should go too...... No. I'll follow if you can't do this on your own."

The following morning I was on a flight to Finn. Business closed, Sammy checking in on Mae, White and Sean monitoring the ongoing investigation and me... I'm going to win my love back.