Not Me : 🎨 Yok's Tapestry 🔻this Is Not a Yok/Dan story🔻

Prologue: Yok's Beginning ..🎨

That night, my friends and I, or should I say my comrades?

We achieved something then, a beginning of sorts. A change began with us and it swept across the people, creating a movement. No more would abuse be tolerated, no more exploitation.....

Our fight, somewhat misguided, brought about a shift in the power of the day. We shook things up, we shook ourselves up ...

We all changed ... Black disappeared. White and Sean retreated into their own world. Gram and the rest... They carried on living. Me? I went back to my art. For my mom and me, I had to make a living. I held my exhibition , I had to move on.

A month later he showed up. Begging for forgiveness. Should I?. No. He betrayed me. No. He broke our promise.... BUT... I loved him.

Three little birds no longer held sway over me. I became a adult, no longer an idealist. Three little birds .... were lost, flew away you might say.... But I caved for three little words

I am sorry.....

I took him back, into my life, into my heart. I forgave him. I thought we all would, but again I was wrong.

I forgave him. He came back. He left the police force and my friends.... Left me.

They couldn't see pass his betrayal. I guess I can't blame them. They nearly died that night, partly because of him, my Dan. That isn't easy to forgive.

Him and I, we made a family. Us, my mother and what was left of his family forged a way forward. We made a new beginning. We were happy....

I painted. He worked at whatever he could. I knew he missed being a policeman. He missed the challenge, he missed making a difference, he missed helping those who needed him.

That night, the night he betrayed me, we both lost the ideology we fought to uphold. We became everyday Joe, slaving away like the masses.

Still, we were happy, because we had each other. We loved as much as we could and we built a life.

"Yok, how about a late dinner tonight. Just you and me." "What are you up to Dan. Mom's coming over for dinner. We can't just change our plans, besides mom's bringing your favourite" Dan sighed. "Okay, Teng. Well celebrate our anniversary again tomorrow and this time, it'll be just you and me."

Two years together. Not a small achievement at all. I wished he'd told me earlier he wanted to celebrate alone. I would've invited Mae over another night.

Looking back to that night now, I'm glad she was there. I would have lost my mind if I had been alone.

"Yok, your telephone is ringing " It took a while for Mae to get my attention and sign this message to me. She couldn't speak you see and I was in the process of burning a very expensive dinner.

I finally answered the phone, just to hear a foreign voice on the other side. " You are the emergency contact for Khun Danai..." The rest of the words were drowned out by the sudden ringing noise in my ear. "Excuse me. Excuse me..." I kept repeating.

He's been shot......

For the second time , my life was completely changed with the bang of a gun ...

I rushed to the hospital. "He's tough," I kept telling myself. "He's no pushover. He won't be felled by a simple bullet. Not my Dan..... "

But he was......

Dead.... Gone....

"Where was he," I thought. Crazily running through the hospital. "How can there be no body. He was just shot, wasn't he? How can there be no body.... "

Because there was an explosion.

Yes, he was shot. Then his injured body was thrown into a car and strapped to a bomb. Nothing was left, not of the car nor of my Danai.

" I refuse to believe this. I will not believe it. Where is my Dan? Where is he, why are you keeping me away from him..." I panicked.

The room was dark when I woke up. White and Sean sat next to my bed. I haven't seen them in years. At first I was happy to see my old friends, but I remembered, they never forgave Dan and I became angry .

"What are you doing here. I told you both before, as long as you refuse to accept Dan, I will not have you in my life. " I looked around at my surroundings wondering where I was and how I got there.

"It looks like a hospital room," I thought. Somewhat puzzled but more angry at being held against my will, I swung my legs off the bed. "Dan is waiting for me!" My legs buckled beneath me as soon as my feet touched the floor.

"What, what's going on. Did you give me something?" "Yok," White whispered. "Yok..."

I felt a stabbing pain in my head then. I sank to the floor. I screamed as I heard those words again ...."he's gone, Yok."

Months passed before I felt strong enough to visit his memorial site. A photo in a cubbyhole was all I had left. That and our memories.

Memories of our beginning. Of our ending.

As I turned and walked into the dreary cold day, I thought how fitting it is that the day should be this grey. My Dan was gone and I had no choice but to accept it.

For my sake, for Mae and for Dan's family, I had to accept that he was never coming back.

I've had my happiness. I've lived a good life and now I must carry on...

Alone.

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