Fix Me |Phan AU|

Crisis

It took about ten minutes until I stopped crying. I sniffed and let out a few breaths and an odd hiccough here and there. I felt myself calm slightly and I became silent.

I pulled away from Phil and he looked into my eyes with a slightly worried look. Worry mixed with love. He stroked my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. The headache was getting so much worse and I think Phil noticed because he handed me two painkillers and a glass of water. I swallowed them and sighed,rubbing my forhead. 

"I'm sorry Phil." I croaked simply.

"Dan don't you ever be sorry for this. A lot has been going on lately and I know you're stressed. You needed to let it out,and that's fine. I am here for you." He stated and pecked my lips lightly. I nodded and rubbed my eyes,feeling tired.

Phil understood and we both lay down,with me snuggled into his chest and his arm snaked around me.

"Thank you Phil." I murmured as I drifted off.

"I'm always going to be here for you." He whispered.

**
I was in an open space,green grass surrounded my feet. The skies were clear and the wind whispered gently to me. It looked calm and serene,making me feel happy inside.

I looked behind me and caught a glimpse of a really familiar person. He had light brown hair and green eyes. I grinned widely.

"Chris! What are you doing here?" I happily said. But he didn't reply. He didn't even move. He was frozen on the spot,looking into my eyes,into my soul.

"Chri-" I began to say but he interrupted me when he began to speak in a shrill voice.

"No one gives a damn about you. Your parents hate you, everyone at work hates you and Phil is going to leave you," he paused for dramatic effect. "You're going to be left alone for the rest of your life."

I was confused by the words said and also hurt.

It could be true...

Suddenly,Chris faded away,leaving me alone in the field. It looked slightly darker now,with dark clouds looming above. I looked around and I saw both my parents to my left,walking hand in hand.

I stared at them. My mum's face looked almost like she was made out of wax. It was so blanched. My dad looked the same,but more ghost-like.

"You're a fucking fag,I can't believe I raised a child like you." My dad seethed,making me almost cower in fear.

I looked at my Mum,waiting for her to throw an insult at me,but she didn't. She faded away with my dad and I was all alone again.

It was darker. And I looked ahead to see Phil.

He looked menacing. His eyebrows furrowed,arms crossed and eyes livid.

"I can't believe I dated someone like you. You worthless idiot. I will never pick up the pieces when you fall."
I looked at him in bewilderment,making him grin sadistically. I let out a whimper and he too,faded just like the others.

My light became my darkness.

*
I sat upright,feeling incredibly sweaty. I didn't even have time to register what had happened as I felt a lurch in my stomach and I rushed to the toilets to empty my stomach.

I felt dizzy and I was surprised that I didn't pass out while running. I shakily opened the bathroom door and emptied my stomach,feeling extremely light headed.

When I was done,I heard quick footsteps behind me and a wash rag being pressed to my mouth. Phil dabbed my mouth and cleaned off the disgusting residue.

Phil betrayed you.

I ignored that voice in my mind and allowed Phil to care for me.

He left you.
He doesn't love you.
He never has.
Never will.

Suddenly, I pulled away from him,believing the voices in my mind.

"Get away from me! You're a liar!" I shrieked,tears leaking out of my eyes.

Seriously I was ridiculous.

"Dan,what do you mean?" Phil asked in utter bewilderment.

"You're a liar,you hate me! Get away from me!" I cried.

"I don't hate you Dan,how could I ever?"

"You're gunna leave me like everyone else did." I sniffled.

"How could I ever,Dan? I will never leave you." He said calmly.

Liar.

"I'm here to stay." He said sweetly.

Liar.

I nodded,feeling shaky still. My thoughts were all jumbled up and I felt feathery kisses being pressed all over my face.

I felt myself being carried and I clung onto Phil like a koala.

The last thing I remembered before I passed out was a kiss on my forehead.