Fix Me |Phan AU|

Comfort

A/N: This is terribly edited I'm sorry I'm just tired af. It's like 3 a.m. And I literally cannot sleep but I'm tired wat.
-Miriamxx
Ps. I was listening to 2009 on repeat and now I have evil plans for this fic haha hah. Hah.

An hour later, Phil was setting up his camera to film. I was nervous. Phil showed me some of his videos,and I honestly thought he was great. He had this little wave at the beginning with a "hey guys!" That made my heart weirdly flutter. I didn't know how to go about this. I knew I was stressing over something really simple but I was always like this. Stressing over everything.

"Oi Daniel,snap out of it! I've been talking to you for over a minute!" Phil called,making me jump,for the second time today.
"Whoops sorry Phil. You were saying?" I said sheepishly. He playfully rolled his eyes

"I was saying,just be yourself on the camera,don't stress out. I told them about you on Twitter! They all seemed interested! I'm just filming a random video and you're joining me at the end and introduce yourself." Phil repeated.
I nodded and took my place behind the camera to watch Phil record his video. He started it out with his signature opening. He started acting funny,making me laugh slightly.

After about fifteen minutes,Phil called me over. I joined him and saluted the camera.
"Hello internet!" I said,with confidence that I just suddenly gained. I was stunned for two seconds and then I remembered that I was filming.

"So this is my new flat mate,Dan!" Phil introduced me to his subscribers. We messed around a bit until Phil called it a wrap. He did his outro and I just awkwardly sat there smiling. After Phil turned the camera off,he faced me,with a humongous grin on his face.
"Dan! That was really great! You were really good! They're going to love you! I know it," He looked so damn happy and I couldn't help but smile. He was already affecting me. I couldn't let this happen. I knew it was going to hurt me in the end. It always happened. First things are great until something happens. I couldn't let myself in too deep.

But I did. And that made all the difference.
*************
A few weeks later,you can about say that Phil and I became inseparable. We went out together,ate together,watched anime together and it was going brilliantly. There was the nagging at the back of my head telling me that something bad was going to happen. I couldn't bring myself to listen. I was too attached. Phil and I filmed another video and he told me that people were staring to "ship" us. He explained to me what that was and I laughed. These people dedicated their whole lives to a pairing? I couldn't help but feel sorry for them,they probably needed the sympathy. I also went to work,unfortunately,having to see my bastard of a boss,Patrick who kept on muttering things about me under his breath. Arse.

Phil was absolutely horrified at the fact that I didn't have a laptop and then he spoke to me for ages about the importance of the internet. I rolled my eyes and made the points that I was a broke guy who spent too much money on books and CDs and that I was too much of a loser to be on the internet.

"Well you kind of have fans now because you were in my videos! And Gee you're not a loser stop being harsh on yourself! Oh my god! Maybe you can start a channel!" Phil said quickly,making me laugh.

"Me,start a channel,Philip? Me? What do I talk about? Reasons why I'm a fail or something?" I laughed.

Phil's eyes went all bright. "Yes! I mean you kind of are a fail,but that's okay. You can talk about your awkwardness and share it with people so it can become like one colossal internet support group!"
I grinned. Where does this guy get these ideas from?

"What are you going to say next,that my channel should be called something really weird like danisnotonfire?" I challenged. But Phil just beamed at me.

"You know,that's actually a really good name!"
"Phil I swear t-"
"But it is! How the hell did you come up with that?"
"I'm just cool,"
"I mean yeah you aren't on fire."
"Phil that was six out of ten."

He pouted which made me look away. Seriously, he was too cute I couldn't look at him.
We were silent for a couple of minutes until Phil spoke;
"So how about that channel then?"

"When I win the lottery,Philip."

"No offence,but that's never,"

"Exactly."
**************

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was underwater. My lungs were burning,I felt like hands were grabbing my neck. I felt like someone was pulling me down. I tried to scream,but I couldn't. I clutched at my chest,trying to catch myself some air, but it wouldn't come. Then I heard the voices. The voices that haunted me for ages. The ghosts of the people that had left me.

"Nobody loves you,and nobody ever will."
"You're useless"
"You don't deserve to breathe."
"Die."

I screamed loudly,trying to shut them up. Please shut up! Please!
*****
I woke up drenched in cold sweat. I was crying and I couldn't breathe. I let out weird gasps that physically hurt my chest. I rocked back and forth on my bed,crying hysterically.

"Dan?" I heard a voice say. I flinched and curled up into a ball,shaking badly. I didn't know why I was like this,I've had worse.

"Dan,I'm not going to hurt you,I'm going to help you." Phil said,walking towards the bed. He sat down near me and I lifted my head up slightly. Phil looked at me concerned.

"Please stay with me." I said,losing all sense of embarrassment. I was at my lowest,and I didn't care. I just needed comfort. I needed someone to hold me close.
Phil nodded. He pulled the covers and laid next to me. We were close to each other. Really close. I could smell his scent. Raspberries,coffee and mint. A beautiful combination. I draped my arm across his shoulder and and he stroked my hair. I didn't care what I'd think in the morning. I needed this. I began to drift off slowly.

Phil please don't hurt me.

Be that one person.

I shouldn't have been so dependant on you....