Fix Me |Phan AU|

Crisis

A/N: guys wtf 1k reads! I'm so happy god dammit! Thank you all so much!
Enjoy lovelies! Longer than usual chapter for you.
Also please give me feedback on how I'm doing,feedback is good
Also I gave myself an existential crisis reading this whoops.
#spoilers
Also I think Bloodstream by Ed Sheeran is the theme song of this fic maybe?

What is the meaning of life?

That was the most common question I asked myself.

What happens when we die?
What to I contribute to mankind?
What is my purpose?

These questions clouded my thoughts certain weeks. Questions of existence.They would get so overwhelming, I would have no desire to do anything.

Making cereal? Why would I make cereal? What was the point?

My mind was swirling in a vortex of unfulfilled dreams and disappointments,making me dizzy and feel slightly sick.

Phil was genuinely concerned about me lying face-first into the fluffy carpet in the hallway,but it wasn't the first time. So when he came back home one day from a meet and greet he was doing with fans,he simply sighed quietly and sat cross-legged next to me on the carpet. He rubbed my back while I lay there motionless. Thinking.

My thoughts were actually making my head hurt,but I couldn't stop the flow of constant unanswerable questions and deep thoughts.

"Dan,come on, sit up and talk to me." Phil finally said,still rubbing tiny circles on my back. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut.

"You don't have to stay here Phil,just go do your thing,you must be tired after meeting all those people. I'll come later. You're wasting precious time." I sniffed.

"You know I can't do that,Dan. Wanna cuddle in bed? I'll make you some tea and bring you chocolate,eh?"

I sighed. Did Phil know when to give up? Although,I couldn't take down an offer of tea and chocolate. So I slowly sat up,feeling like I crept through the depths of hell. Phil helped me up and pulled me into a warm embrace. Something I didn't think that I needed,but when his arms wrapped around my waist,I longed to stay in that position.

"Phil can you get me painkillers? My head really hurts." I said shakily as I pulled away. He nodded and kissed my cheek. I smiled lightly and I went into my room and climbed into the bed,not being able to hold back any thoughts.

I started to cry. It was a bit stupid,really. But I was really upset and the whole existential crisis shit didn't make anything better.

About five minutes later,I heard Phil burst into the room,but I was faced in the other direction,so he couldn't see me.

"Dan,baby I have your painkillers,have them before you drink your tea." He said. I heard a tray being set down on my bedside table and the bed sink down as Phil sat down.

"Dan?" I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I sighed and sat up,tears still on my face. I quickly wiped my cheeks,like that would do anything,and muttered a quick 'thank you'.

"Dan,have you been crying?" Phil asked edging closer towards me. I shook my head,not looking into his eyes. He sighed and put two fingers under my chin and lifted my head up slightly. I still didn't catch his gaze. The blank wall opposite me was more interesting at the moment.

"Dan c'mon t-" Phil began,but he was cut off when I started crying hysterically. I was angry at myself for acting like a pregnant lady or a girl on her period but honestly, I didn't care. All the pent up emotions from the week were let out by tears. Phil hushed me and hugged me tight,rocking me back and forth,as I blubbered on his shoulder.