Being Cassidy

Chapter 20 - Confused

It was the same reason why the accident happened. No one told us about it. Not even my father told us.

We waited for him at dinner for an hour and my mom told us that he's just late and I should start eating.

Being a little innocent and hungry kid, I followed my mom.

I started eating and after I ate, Dad hasn't come home yet.

My mom told me to go upstairs and get dressed in pajamas and I should sleep early so I could see father tomorrow early.

I nod and quickly pecked my mom on the cheeks then went to my bedroom.

Before I slept, I wondered where my dad is. It was very quiet downstairs and I looked at the moon. My dad told me that a full moon means that today or tomorrow will be a good day, since he's an astrologist.

It wasn't full moon that day so I went to bed early and closed my eyes. When I woke up, things were different. History is made. And everything changed.

It all happened too quickly. My mother cried a lot, but stayed strong beside me. We went to the hospital together and I can feel my mother shaking her hands as she drive the car. I wanted to open the radio to ease Mom but I just stayed out of radar and kept quiet.

My father died on a car accident. He was coming home from work and was bringing a big book to me about astrology. When we were at the hospital, the nurse handed me a wrapped rectangle-shaped gift. That's when I realized what happened.

Maybe I was too little at that time to not be inquisitive and ask about my Dad that night, but I already know what happens after a deadly accident.

My mom wouldn't stop crying that day. The next day, I was worried for her, being the only guy in the family, I took care of her. But she looked like nothing happened.

She was being normal again. We moved on with our lives accepting that my Dad was gone and he was the best gift that we received from Heaven. Sometimes my Mom would get overprotective and worry too much. But I understand why.

I looked at my English homework and finished answering it. I closed my book and massaged my temples. I looked at my shelf; sitting on the edge was my father's gift.

The thought of my father and mother enjoying each other's presence made my head ache. I tried to not blame myself for my father's death because it would do me no good.

My mom and I made a pact; my mom would accept and had to move on so she can be happy again while I have to stop blaming myself and concentrate on looking after the woman my father loves.

I asked them one time how much they loved each other and they have a silly smile and said, "Till death do us apart," quoting their vow from their wedding day which they made me watch their wedding video before. When I asked them to express it in their own words, Father said, "I love everything about her, including her flaws and her mistakes."

Suddenly, a thought came to my mind. I quickly grabbed my diary from the drawer and opened on the empty page.

Trouble, troublemaker

Yeah we're both just the same.

Can't get you off my head,

Why does it echo your name?

I wonder if this is how Connor feels.

Tried to ignore your face

Whenever we're at school.