What's worse than people not knowing you, is you not knowing yourself . I guess my investigation is over . I think I finally achieved my dream and fulfilled my wish. I found out about the murderer who destroyed my life and guess what? I am the murderer who destroyed my life. Funny, isn't it? Funny how I suddenly want to end my life that I didn't even start. Funny how I've been searching for me , looking for me, and investigating to find me. I think any further step in the journey of knowing the full truth will do nothing but destroy me. What about the guy, who was killed in the dark alley? Did I kill him, too? But why? I remember Josh's words: "Well, if it was a bad person, I may believe " so, did I kill him because I knew he was bad? Who do I think I am? I need answers. I still need to know cause this isn't over cause maybe some details still don't make sense. Who should I ask? Who did I always ask? "Zack!" I answer myself out loud.
"Where are you going?" mom asked looking at me and leaving some papers she was holding. I ignore her and look at the clock behind her, it's 10:00 Pm. I walk towards the door but she rushed before me blocking my way and repeated the question sharply through her clenched teeth. "Who cares " I shout at her and open the door then slam it behind me. She'd opened it again but I was long gone and I didn't stop to hear what she was saying at the doorstep. I know that I'll regret it later but who cares?!
What will I say? How will I say it? How can I talk to Zack who is no longer the same Zack he used to be? I mean it's different. I'm not heading to 'Zack', I'm heading to my psychologist . Maybe he can tell me what I'm suffering from and how I unconsciously killed a girl! Only few minutes and everything will be crystal clear and after that I'll surrender to whatever they say, prison, mental hospital or even execution.
I made up million scenarios in my head and decided to bring the best one to life but as I reached his place all of these imaginary conversations were shattered and thrown into the river after shouting 'USELESS'. The "For Sale" sign stood still and proudly in front of his house announcing that neither of us now has the chance to swallow their pride and talk or listen to the other, it stood in front of his house brightly showing itself to me with an 'I won' look then kicking me out of the place. Why is all of this happening to me? I kick the sign with my feet but it never falls . I lie on the floor in front of what was once Zack's house and cry, the thing that I've been doing for months. I've never been that type of person that I am today. I have never was a nagging person, a serious person and I have never been a crazy person!!
"Excuse me" a man says and I stand up awkwardly. He is wearing a grey suit, pink tie and white shirt. His brown hair is combed mostly to one side and his clothes, style and way of standing declared that he is a gentleman in his mid 30's and behind him there's another man with the same style but different suit and tie. "Is that house really for sale?" he asked and that's when I noticed his British accent. I gave him an are-you-stupid-look but he quickly explains: " I mean people are talking and so more stories are made up. Some say that the habitant just gathered his things, emptied the house and never got back but others say he got murdered and I don't want to buy a house if police are going to consider it a crime scene" he said with his deep voice.
"What?" I shout to the ground and run back home leaving the man with his confused look. I banged on our door and mom opened it instantly.
"Are you out of your mind? What the hell do you think you're doing?" She shouted with a spoon in her hand and she was wearing her apron. She grabbed my hand and slammed the door behind us. "You're not getting out of this door again" she yelled pointing to the just-slammed door.
"Is he dead? Zack, is he dead?" Her face changed instantly and so, I shouted again " I can't believe you know something about it and you've never told me!! Are you all kidding me? What's going on? Did I kill him, too? " I asked her but I meant to ask myself.
"What are you saying? And tell who? tell you? Really? Who's kidding who? You're always out and without giving a single tiny hint about where you are. You just put on your clothes and get out of the damn door! We didn't have a chance to see your face" she shouted angrily at me.
"Mom" I say quietly then fall on the sofa. "This guy .. he was .. you don't understand and you never did" I break down.
"We are still not sure, Ash" she said adding another mystery to my life and pressing her finger on the bruise that blooms at the mere mention of his name. Isn't that enough?!!
YOU ARE READING
Hidden Investigations (#Wattys2015)
Mystery / Thriller"Do what's right" my mother always said... A normal girl goes to high school ready for her usual classes until it's announced that another student was murdered in a mysteriously. That's when her life is turned upside down
