THE LAST VAMPIRE | Lestat | Interview with the Vampire

The Exit

"Louis just held me as I cried against his chest. I wasn't crying because of Lestat... I was crying because i was slowly realising that I had never mourned my sister.

I had never found her after she abandoned me, I had never sort to even look for any relatives that could still be alive... I had completely separated myself from anything which tied me to a life away from Lestat and I hadn't allowed myself even a second to dwell on her passing"

I sat up from the man's chest with streaks of red and black running down my cheeks.

I did not bother to wipe my face and I did not care how Louis viewed me, sat in my state.

Usually, I wouldn't have been caught dead acting vulnerable in front of another... another that wasn't Lestat, however I simply couldn't stop myself.

I stared ahead, the tears long since being cried, as I avoided eye contact with Louis before I started to speak.

"How do you feel?" I asked him, referring to his transition

He was quiet for a minute before he muttered back

"Different" he simply said

I stared at the patch of blood, stained into the wooden floor in front of the altar.

"I am so sorry" I whispered, shocking myself as the raw emotion tumbled out of me

I felt the bench shift as Louis turned towards me, however I kept my face forward

"What happened was not your fault. I should have known that getting close to Lestat would only bring trouble... it was plain to see from the moment I met him" he said "If only I hadn't been so selfish that night... maybe all this wouldn't have happened" he whispered

With those words I turned to look at him

"Selfish?" I muttered "how have you been selfish?" I ask

He looked down and I could tell that he was ashamed.

"I wasn't intending to... I promise that if I had known that you two were getting engaged-"

I smiled, sadly, in realisation as I look down at my lap

"You slept with him" I said as I put the pieces together "that's why you left when you heard of our engagement- you were angry at yourself" I concluded

"Yes" he breathed

It was quiet again

"Victoria I'm so sorry. I regretted it the moment it had happened- he promised me that you would be alright with it, he said you two had an agreement" he stumbled out

I looked at him with a sad smile

"You did nothing wrong" I said "And the agreement he spoke about was one he pushed on me years ago" I said "I'm sorry that I encouraged you to get to know him like I did, that day at the park... I was thinking of what would make Lestat happy, not once did I consider where you would end up" I admitted

He nodded, both of us turning and sitting in our regrets

After a while, maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours, I spoke as I wiped my face clean of tears and took in a breath.

"You should spend as much time with your family as you can... your relationship with them will fade the older they get and the younger you stay" I told him "you can live with us.... Lestat and I" I inform him as I dust my legs off, seeing the dust which had been rubbed onto my clothes after sitting on the bench.

"We will have to figure out a dynamic- what we will tell people" I said as I cleared my throat "Lestat said that you and I are technically now blood related- we could be siblings, if you would like. We will also have to get you your own coffin-"

"Victoria stop." Louis said suddenly

My head snapped to him as I stopped brushing off my clothes forcefully

"Just stop" he breathed "Do you not hear yourself?" He asked "We cannot go back to him, we cannot let him win. I walked in this church in order to come to terms with the place I lost my life- only to find you lamenting over the loss of yours- don't you see that the one person responsible for both of our pain can be disbanded? We can start our own family- live as siblings, away from him." Louis said as he carefully took my hands in his "Don't you see the way that we can finally leave his control- the way that you can leave him for good?"

I sat, merely for seconds, before I tossed his hands from mine and stood up.

"No, I can't leave him" I said as much as it pained me to say out loud, I knew it was true "We would have nowhere else to go. Your family, over time, will notice you changing. They will grow suspicious- they will leave just like mine did" I said

"Don't you see that Lestat has managed to capture us into his web, knowing that if we tried to leave we would have nothing?" I breathed "No, we are not leaving- you should stay with us, it's only right after Lestat was the one to do this to you-"

"Victoria I am not allowing him to control my life." Louis said firmly as he started to walk towards the exit of the church "I'm leaving whether you are coming or not"

I swallowed

"And that is why you will get out Louis.... You haven't been with him for more then 100 years- you don't... you don't love him the way I am cursed to" I said as I watched him waver by the exit "you have a choice to make.... Leave now or never leave at all" I said

I watched as he contemplated before he continued out of the church

"Good choice, Louis" I whispered to myself as he disappeared

I waited a moment before I walked down the middle of the church, in order to exit myself.

As I reached the end of the aisle I turned and looked at the altar once more.

I saw myself getting married to Lestat once more, but instead of a gruesome scene I now saw a happy ceremony.

We stood, exchanging rings, before we lent forward and pulled each other into a kiss.

The scene looked hazier than the first one. Looking back maybe it was my delusions showing me their seams... but back then I took comfort in the second wedding I had imagined. The 'perfect' wedding.

In that moment I realised what a curse it is to love someone more than you love yourself... to love a vampire more then your love for life.

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