Thinking Out Loud ➵zauren

Chapter 38

"Okay..well..what's going on?" Zayn asked and a worried look etched on to his face.

Lauren took another deep breath and released it quickly.

"Luke kissed me today.." Lauren said even quicker and she cringed, awaiting his response.

--

Lauren's mind was racing as she tried to read Zayn's expression but it was really just a blank stare. He'd had an arm around the small of her back as they sat close together and it slowly slipped off of her. Despite the fact that getting a terrible reaction from Zayn would kill Lauren, this felt even worse. The longer they sat there in silence with Zayn staring off into nothing, the more Lauren felt sick. Zayn had looked away from her and was looking towards the tree that was on the hill with them. Lauren felt tears begin to well in her eyes as she waited for some sort of reaction from Zayn; what if this was something he couldn't forgive.

"Zayn.." Lauren's voice cracked as she broke the silence, "please say something, look at me," Lauren brought her hand up to the side of his face, turning it towards her. "Please, you have to know it meant nothing to me. You're the only one I care about. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of not telling you because that's us, we're honest with each other, but I need you to say something, please. I can't lose you," Lauren cried.

"Lauren.." Zayn sighed and paused for a few moments as he shook his head. "You're not going to lose me, okay?"

Lauren began to cry more when she heard Zayn's response; he wasn't even questioning her. She didn't deserve him. Zayn wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"I'm sorry," Lauren cried against his T-shirt. "I should've believed you, this wouldn't have happened if I would've just listened to you."

"Look at me," Zayn said tilting Lauren's head up. "I'm not gonna let this ruin us because I trust you. I know that I've gotten worked up over him before, clearly or else we wouldn't have been separated for that to have happened, but I see that this was something you didn't want, I mean look at you," Zayn wiped at the tears that were running down Lauren's cheeks.

"I didn't want it, I didn't kiss him back either, I swear on our love," Lauren sniffled.

"I believe you," Zayn said gently and Lauren couldn't believe he'd reacted so well to this. He'd been right all along about Luke's feelings for Lauren yet he wasn't rubbing it in her face or getting upset with her for not listening to him. Lauren knew Zayn had always been too good to her from the beginning but this was something else.

"Did he hurt you?" Zayn asked seriously.

"No," Lauren answered quietly and Zayn nodded.

"Why aren't you upset about this?" Lauren questioned and Zayn shrugged.

"I am, but not with you. You said you didn't kiss him back and I believe that, meaning he forced himself on you and that's what pisses me off. He better watch his back now cause if I see him it's not gonna be pretty," Zayn sounded a little angry now. "Maybe I kind of deserved to know what it feels like to have someone try and take you, for what I did to you."

"What? No babe-"

"Yeah..it goes to show that I need to always treasure what I have and not be neglectful like I was. I said hurtful things to you at the absolute worst time and that's what made you push me away like that," Zayn interrupted Lauren. There was a brief silence for a while as Zayn looked off at nothing again. Lauren kept her eyes on his beautifully structured face and really noticed that his hair had been growing out again. She ran her fingers over the side of his head, moving the growing hair back a bit.