Invalid (Supernatural)

13. Headaches

"What the hell do you want?!" he yelled.

Tabbris buckled at the kick and slowly rose to his feet. He held on to the map table for support.

"I was...just trying to help...Kevin," Tabbris replied between breaths.

"Why?!" Dean interrogated.

"I don't know. I...it was my job."

"Like hell," Dean spat. "Kevin was my job. And I messed up."

Dean calmed down and sat at the table holding his head in his hands.

"Who did this?" Tabbris asked.

"Sam...well the angel in Sam. Whoever that is."

"I thought it was Ezekiel," Tabbris said confused.

"No. How didn't you know?" Dean asked turning on him. "Can't angels tell who other angels are?"

Tabbris replied reluctantly, "I didn't know Ezekiel or whoever must have been possessing Sam."

"I could fill a room with things you don't know," Dean said bitterly.

Tabbris fell back to the floor and stayed there. He didn't have the energy to stay up. Using his destroyed wings had taken a tole on him. He had ripped them up even further, but he didn't care. About any of it. He had failed. Kevin was his job and he had failed. That failure felt worse than anything Tabbris had ever felt. Worse than the fall, worse than wandering around lost, worse than any failure he'd had with Naomi. It was made even more terrible by the fact that he had no idea why.

Dean didn't move to help him. He went to Kevin's body, picked him up gently, and took him outside. Tabbris didn't know what he was going to do with a dead body.

***

Dean returned hours later to find Tabbris slouching over in a chair with his head on the table. Kevin's body was no longer with him.

"Where is Kevin?" Tabbris asked, glancing up momentarily.

"I gave him a hunter's funeral," Dean said shortly.

Tabbris watched him walk over to Kevin's workspace on the library table. It was still covered in Kevin's research. A half eaten sandwhich sat untouched on the table. Dean picked up Kevin's phone and stared at it. He closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead, like he had a headache. Then he exploded and chucked the phone across the room. He wiped the research off the table and slammed his palm down on it. He kicked a chair over angrily and then stood with nothing more to do. He looked lost as he slid to the floor and sat down hard. Tabbris just closed his eyes to rest. They had both failed today.

***

Tabbris awoke. He had no idea how long he'd been knocked out. Apparently, he had been damaged more than he thought in the flight. He opened his eyes to find he was still at the map table. Dean and Castiel stood over in the library as Dean put a variety of weapons into a bag. Tabbris had no idea why or how Castiel was here, but he could tell he was no longer human and there was something off about him.

"Dean, what happened?" Castiel asked concerned. "What's wrong?"

Dean looked down, then he said, "Kevin's dead, Cas."

Castiel stared back at Dean shocked.

"I, uh...it was my fault," Dean continued. "Sam was dying. And I-I didn't know what to do, man. So I asked an angel, said he was Ezekiel, to help. He possessed Sam, to, uh, heal him, but he wasn't Ezekiel."

Dean said it all. Tabbris knew it was painful for him to say.

"You let an angel possess Sam?" Castiel asked him incredulously.