My Own Way

Chapter 10

Looking at the floor, all I could do was nod my head.

"I'm not angry." He repeated.

Slowly I raised my eyes off the floor and found myself looking into his eyes.

"Are you scared of me?" He whispered but I could hear the concern in his voice.

"I'm not...good with angry men. Men in general but...angry..." I tried to say but the words just couldn't come out.

"Okay." He said. Knowing he didn't understand but he kept his word, he didn't push to get answers from me. If I froze or my words wouldn't come out, he would stop and change the subject to make me feel more comfortable.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"A little bit." I confessed.

"Well, go take a look around the kitchen, if you find something to eat... I'll go take a quick shower, eat then prepare my lunch and then we can leave. Is that good with you?" He asked.

I smiled, how could he be so nice? I asked myself.

"Sounds like a plan." I answered.

We both smiled looking at each other. He got up and made his way to the bathroom.

I watched him go, he was only wearing his black boxers and I couldn't take my eyes away from him. I'd look at his back, the way his muscles moved as he walked, but his bum had my full attention.

Yum...I thought again.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Miss Gibson." He said without even looking at me.

"How did you know?!" I said a bit too loud.

"Because I know…and I pay attention. I don't need to look at you to know what you’re thinking." He said. When he got to the bathroom he turned and finally looked at me. "But it only works sometimes. You, me and sex, I know. Other than that, you are a mystery." He said smiling.

I smiled a bit knowing it was true. We both knew each other well on that subject, everything else not so much. We were starting to know more about each other but I wanted to fast forward that process a bit.

During the ride to the garage, it would be a perfect time to know him a bit more, I told myself.

I know if I did that, he would want to know more about me, it would only be fair but it also freaked me out. My session with Emily was coming up soon and I didn't want to see her and not know much about Blake. I really liked hanging out with him and he was fun to be around. I didn't think he would be so intriguing but I wanted to learn more about him. Mostly because I wanted to know but also, a bit was for Emily.

.........................

Sitting in Blake's car on our way to the garage. I had butterflies in my stomach and I was so nervous. I had wanted to ask him questions about his life, his childhood but all I could think about was my father.

I told Blake to drive all the way to the garage, I didn't want to be dropped off a couple blocks away to pretend Blake and I didn't arrive together.

I thought if I did that, he would probably think I'm ashamed of him. I wasn’t fully ready for my father to know we were friends or in a relationship...whatever Blake and I were but it was important for me that he knew I wasn't ashamed and that whatever the outcome or what my father thought, our friendship would remain.

Blake seemed really happy to hear that. He kept smiling which was making me laugh.

When we pulled over into the employee parking lot of the garage, I kept taking deep breaths. I kept trying to calm myself down and to slow down my heart rate...it was out of control.