***Paisley in Reizon's shirt in the MM, if y'all can see it. Wattpad want to be a f*ck up***
***Please tell me I'm not the only black girl that hasn't tried grits *pouts* Jesus***
Reizon,
I was beside the bed, seeing that Paisley was still sleeping.
"Wake up"
She turned a bit, finally sitting up as she wrapped the white sheets around her body. Her eyes flickered over to me and looked down, running her hands over through her hair.
"Get ready" I told her, handing her a pair of my baggy sweatpants
As I was about to walk out the door, I felt her small hand touch my arm.
"Are you still mad at me, Reizon?" She asked
"I'm pissed actually. Look, I understand your pain- but that shouldn't put you in the state of mind to cut yourself. When was the last time you did that?"
"Um, I think a few hours before we went to the carnival last week" She muttered
"You ain't think I would find out?"
"Honestly, no" She sighed
I chuckled, looking down at her. I shook my head as I leaned against the wall.
"Is that why you didn't touch me last night? Because you were mad at the fact that you saw them on my arm?" Paisley questioned
"Yes, but no. I was mad that you blatantly disrespected yourself- even in public. I don't like it, never will. You're too much of a radiant, independent woman to let your size and what other people say get to you. It's sad, Paze. It's sad to see you bring yourself down like that"
"You don't understand-"
"I do understand," I raised my voice a bit. I was tired of this conversation "I know what it's like to have insecurities, alright? I was once a big kid myself when I was little and I didn't just get picked on, I got beaten to death because I was different from the others. It's okay to not like your appearance once and a while, but not everyday.
Trust and believe me when I say I watch you mostly all the time. I watch how you don't like to eat a lot around me. I watch how you look at the girls in public who have fit and/or great bodies. I watch how you mumble to yourself about certain shit- and Paisley, it fucking irritates me.
Like c'mon, I'm right next to you" I raised my eyebrow "I know you think that I can't hear a damn word you're saying and what your looking at- but I can. Why? Because you get quiet every time you do it. How will you expect someone to love you, if you can't even love yourself?"
She lightly scratched her marked arm, causing me to stop her by holding her hand.
"Don't do that..." I breathed
I looked at her, and she looked at her feet. I put my hand on her face, lifting her head for her to look at me.
"So you don't want to look at me when I'm telling you this?" I questioned "Are you listening to me?"
"Reizon, I hear you" Her voice seemed a bit strained
"Yeah, but are you listening?"
"I hear you," She sighed
Furrowing my eyebrows together, I took my hands off of her. I chuckled, stepping closer to her.
She looked up at me as if she was scared, and I looked down at her, knowing I had a straight face.
. .
We was in the car as I took her home. Nobody said a word the whole drive. She just sat there, glancing at me a few times. I never did bother looking her way, because I didn't really want to feel as if I tried to accomplish something. To be honest, I felt defeated and useless.
Pulling up in her driveway, I unlocked the car doors. I got out, going to the passenger side to open the door for Paisley. She was about to get out the car, but I put my hand up for her to stay put. Opening the door, she got out.
Here we stood, face to face as she played with the plastic bag in her hand. I took a step back, putting my hands in my pockets.
"Why are you so stubborn?" I asked
"I'm not stubborn"
"Don't feed me that bullshit- answer my question"
She twisted her mouth, turning around to walk to the house. I walked to grab her arm.
"Why can't you just listen to me? I'm trying to help you, I want to be here for you- and you're not letting me. What did I say that was wrong? What did I do?"
"You didn't do anything" She replied
"Then why are you pushing me away? I want you, but you're making it all complicated"
"I'm not making it complicated"
"Yes you are!" I yelled "Yes the fuck you are, stop denying it all, dammit! You know you're making it hard for me to love you like I want to love you- but you just won't let me! Why is that?!"
"I don't know" She shouted. I shook my head "I really don't know, okay?"
I went to go get in car. As I was about to get in the driver's seat, I said,
"Call me when you get your mind straight, alright?"
"Reizon-"
"I'm serious"
3 hours later,
"I got your chapstick" Rasheed poured a small box of Chapstick chapstick over my head
I continued to watch stupid cartoons on Boomerang, as I leaned the side of my head in between my index and thumb while my elbow was on the arm of the couch.
"What's wrong?" He asked me
"Nothin'"
"Reizon, you good?" He asked once more
"I'm fine"
"Why you not making jokes? You always make jokes"
"Just not in the mood today, alright?"
"Okay, well if you need me, I'll be upstairs" He pulled a piece of my hair "Love you"
"Love you too, man"
He gave me a dap, heading up the steps. My phone started ringing and I picked up without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Thought you could get rid of me?"
"Who the fuck is this?" I asked
"Figure it out" He chuckled
I rubbed my hand over my face, throwing the lamp on the ground.
"Hey Blaze"
YOU ARE READING
Big and Broken, Paisley || Sequel
ChickLit"Look," He approached me, making me back against the door. He put his hands beside my body on the doorway "I'm not trying to play no games with you- I really don't have time for that, babygirl. You're the only one that I see, that I want- the one I...
