To Love a Half-Blood (A Kili Fanfic)

Chapter 55: Out With the Old

What was I doing? Something was important. Very important... What was I thinking about?

It is very cold. I should pull the blanket up over me.

Blanket? Am I in my bed in Mirkwood?

I open my eyes and am met with the same darkness. My lips are tingly. I'm still filled with a sense of urgency. My hands are uncomfortably warm.

Kili, something with Kili.

I feel pins and needles in my toes. I shift my body and blink my eyes to try to see better. Still blackness, but now a dim lantern hanging comes into focus. I am alone. Now I notice the trembling. My entire body is shaking, probably with the cold. I move to grasp for the blanket with clumsy fingers-

Ow! That stings.

My palms feel sunburned.

This sucks.

I grit my teeth and try again. It takes more focus than it should.I'm thirsty and exhausted. I look around the dark room. I can hear the murmur of far off voices.

Where am I? Where is Kili? Legolas?

Then my memory returns. I can see him laying on his back, covered in blood. He gave me a ring... Tears spring to my eyes as I remember him dying.

No no. That can't be what happened. Its just a bad dream.

But there it is, the memory, clear as day in my mind. Him asking me not to forget and fading away.

I lost him.

An astonishing tightness in my chest appears. I loosen every muscle in my body and lay limply, like a corpse. Now I understand the meaning of dead inside. Too distraught to cry. I can't breathe. I embrace the tiredness now and slip into painless sleep again.

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I can feel my consciousness returning. I fight it.

No. I want to sleep so I don't have to think.

"Larien, wake up."

Someone shakes my shoulder gently.

"Larien, you've slept for five days, you need to eat sweetheart."

Kili is dead.

I hope that if I ignore the person they will leave me be.

"Larien, stop ignoring me, you must eat." Legolas says. He holds out a spoon of food towards me as if I'm an infant. "Eat."

"I don't want to be awake." I slurr.

"You need food if you don't want to die."

"Maybe I do!"

"Larien don't you dare speak like that! Thousands have died already don't be ungrateful. You're acting like a child."

"Exactly! Everyone I love is dead so what is the point." I roll over and look in my brother's eyes.

I immediately regret what I said. His jaw tightens.

"I'll be back when you are less vicious." He gets up to leave.

Damn you Larien. Why do you always do that?!

"Legolas I'm sorry!" I call quietly and struggle to sit up.

The sliver of light from the tent flap disappears behind him.

I really have a talent for rejecting the people who care about me. I'm almost glad Kili isn't here to see me do that. I should follow him and apologize.