Poison & Wine//A BBC Sherlock fanfic

Then

Then

He didn't know where he was, but after thinking about that fact for a moment he decided that he didn't really care. Why should he? There was nothing left for him to care about.

It had been two weeks since Cosette had left England. For the remainder of her stay after the incident she hadn't spoken a word to him. Sherlock, at first, had told himself that he didn't care. So another person didn't like him? Why should he let that bother him? Nobody liked him, he was an unlikeable person. He watched her from a distance, though, his eyes narrowed in thought as he smoked his cigarettes. She never looked at him, never paid him any attention now. Even when her friends would walk by and give him a small, disgusted glare, she would not. It was as though he didn't exist. He kept telling himself that he didn't care, though. He was perfectly content with just his cigarettes and drugs.

It wasn't until Cosette left that Sherlock realized what he had been telling himself was complete and utter crap.

When they had been friends Sherlock had not cherished her presence as much as he should have. It wasn't until she was gone that he realized just how big an impact she had on his life. It was as though Sherlock was living with a huge, gaping hole in his side. As though he had been cut in half. The University grounds were more tedious than before. His flat was empty and devoid of laughter or happiness. The conversations they used to have had been so stimulating and easy for Sherlock, but now.... Well, now there was nothing to talk about. Now his brain felt too full, too hyperactive. There was no-one he could go to to talk about interesting things that would relieve the pressure in his mind. He couldn't help but marvel at how lonely he felt now, all because one girl had said goodbye to him.

So, to find comfort in a world without Cosette, Sherlock went back to the drugs. His 'friends' had welcomed him back with open arms and it wasn't long before the chemicals were running through his veins again. It was when he was high that his brain could be relieved, that he could finally think straight. It was when he was high that Cosette's ghost faded away, leaving him be. Her eyes would always stay, though. Golden eyes watched him, filled with sadness and pity, as he let himself waste away.

It had been two weeks since Cosette had left and now he was here: in the middle of an unknown street, the night sky overhead like a huge blanket covering the sleeping city, his heart pumping the drugs through his veins in an effort to relieve his mind. He was drugged up, eyes bloodshot, skin pale and clammy, his hair and clothes a mess. How he came to be in this area of the city he didn't know, but as stated before, he couldn't care less.

He thought he was alone. It wasn't until he heard the voices that he realized this wasn't true. Turning a corner he found a section of the other street closed off by police tape. Three police cars were parked in the middle of it and standing in a huddle on the pavement was a group of officers, discussing loudly the body that lay at their feet, slightly obscured from Sherlock's eyes.

He didn't know why he did it. It was as though something flared up inside him, like a match being struck. He felt it burn in his chest and even through the hazy clouds that the drugs brought he could see things moving before his eyes. Words, flashing before his eyes and piercing his mind. He was deducing things again but instead of feeling bored or annoyed by it he felt... thrilled. In an instant, just by looking at the scene before him, he knew things the police officers did not. If he could see the body, though...

"Hey!"

Sherlock hadn't realized that he had crossed the police line until he heard a man call out, rushing over to him. He was young- older than Sherlock but still youthful. His dark hair was cut short, exposing a face that still held the tiniest amount of boyhood, making his chiseled features look softer, kinder. His warm brown eyes were staring at Sherlock, a concerned look on his face.