42) Cruel and Unusual Brotherly Love

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A/N: okay this one is short cause the next was is pretty long, but with no spot for me to like combine them without a 4k word chapter lmao

A/N2: I decided to post twice today in honor of it being that date that Nico was approved to go to Gotham (May 19th). Someone pointed it out in the comments and I had to do something for it lol.

It was 3 days before Nico ever became fully awake. Every time we would start to wake up from the pain seeping back in, he just clicked the button. He didn't even open his eyes anymore when he did it. He would hear voices around him, but he never really listened, he just wanted to get back to his comfortable numbness.

When he finally did wake up again, he moved to click the button, but found it missing. He let out a quiet groan as he moved his hand slightly, looking for where it was when he dropped it.

"It's not there," a voice said to his left.

Nico slowly opened his eyes, giving them a moment to come into focus before they finally landed on Jason. He looked around the room to see it empty, Piper's bed gone.

"Where-" he began to say, but his throat was so dry it hurt to speak.

Jason picked up a remote and pushed a button, causing the bed to slowly move him into a sitting up position. Nico groaned slightly at the movement as it jostled his injuries before Jason held up a glass of water to his lips. The demigod made to hold it before realizing his hands were still in braces, so he couldn't do it himself.

"The others got discharged yesterday morning, but they refused to go home until you were better so they're at the manor. The rest of the family is home right now too. You've been unconscious for three days, so we've been taking shifts to be with you in case you actually stayed awake," Jason said as Nico finished the glass of water. His voice wasn't accusatory or hostile, but there was an edge to it.

"Where's the button?" he muttered, his voice still horse, but still better than before.

Jason looked at him for a long moment before holding up one of his hands where he held the PCA. "I took it from you."

Nico stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say. His mind was still fogged, but it was the most conscious he'd been in a while. "Why?"

Jason ran a hand through his hair. "Nico, do you know why Bruce adopted me?"

"You stole his tires," he said, still in a haze.

"Yes, but why I was on the streets to begin with."

Nico thought for a moment, trying to recall the memories. He knew they had talked about it, but it was hard to think at the moment. "Your father left. Then your mom ODed. Then... you had an uncle, but he died... I can't remember how."

Jason nodded. "Yes. My dad left. My mom ODed. My uncle killed himself," his voice was horse, but he never looked away from Nico. "My mom over dosed on ketamine and morphine."

"I'm not gonna-" Nico began to say, but Jason cut him off.

"I know. The PCA is set up to not allow you to over dose, but that doesn't make it okay. You are in pain and you want to numb out the world. Trust me, I get it. I know exactly what that's like, but you are not going to spend your life numbing yourself to the world without even looking us in the eyes while you do it." Jason's voice was completely even, but his eyes held a desperate look. "You don't want to feel anything? Fine. You can take more meds, but you don't get to just click a button and fade away. If you want them, then you're going to have to look me in the eyes and tell me to click it for you."

Nico looked at him, his mind slowly becoming clearer. "I'm not gonna force you to give me the same drugs that... That— that is cruel and-"

"What's cruel is watching your little brother pump himself full of the same drugs that killed your mom, not even aware enough of the world to actually realize what he's doing." Jason leaned forward, his eyes boring into Nico's. "If you want the drugs, that's your choice. I can't force you to deal with what you're going through— but I can force you to be aware when you do it. I will click this button every hour for the rest of our lives in I have to, just so long as you look me in the eyes each time."

Nico stared at him. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He couldn't hate Jason for doing what he was doing. He understood why he was doing it... but he also knew that he couldn't handle being awake anymore.

"Push the button," Nico said quietly.

Jason's face fell. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, staring at his shaking hands. "I— I'll try not to. I'll try, but I just can't right now. I- I don't want to be awake— I can't. I just, I can't."

Jason looked at him and for the first time ever, Nico saw pity in his eyes. "Why?"

Nico shook his head, his breathing picking up. "I can't. I can't deal with it. It's just one more thing. One more thing to haunt me and make me feel like I'm crumbing," he said through sharp breaths. "I- I just can't— I can't see it again. I can't dream it, or remember, or even think-"

He was cut off by Jason grabbing his hand, making Nico look at him as he hesitantly clicked the button. "It's okay, Neeks."

Nico's breaths began to even out as he felt the familiar coolness enter his arm. He gripped Jason's hand like a lifeline as tears streamed down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he just kept saying as the meds slowly took over his brain, forcing his eyes closed.

Nico was on the verge of unconsciousness as he heard Jason sniff and quietly say. "It's okay, fratellino. We'll try again later. I'm not going anywhere."


A/N: its never said what Jason's mom ODed on, so I took some creative liberties ahahahaha

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