Starlight

Chapter 21: Past and betrayal

"Tell me" Ishan said and took my hands in his "I want to help you, Kaira, instead of just watching you get hurt from whatever those nightmares are about"

I took a deep breath, readying myself "Do you promise to-to not treat me differently? Do you promise that you won't think of a monster when you look at me?"

He leaned enough that we were sharing the breathless breaths "No part of you would ever scare me, even if you tried, it won't happen. I see an angel when I look at you. No matter what it is, you'll never be a monster to me. We've all done things we are not proud of but moving forward and learning from those experience is what makes you—or anyone for that matter-strong"

I knew he meant every word that he'd said. every single one. But I could never be too sure. I closed the distance between us as I kissed him, savouring every moment as if it were our last.

I pulled back but he came close as if to kiss me again but retrieved, his eyes still closed.

After a few moments, I could still taste him on my lips. Another deep breath and I began telling him everything.

"I was-i was nineteen. My boyfriend asked me to go out on a date with him so I lied to my parents that I'll be late from college because of a project. Obvious to say he didn't show up. I called my mom to come pick me up because it was late and I didn't want to use a public transport at night. She was just in the neighbourhood so she showed up quickly. Dad was in Bangalore. My sister was alone at home and we all thought she likes being alone, enjoying her own company. She was in fact the first person I told about the date and she forced me to go, I initially didn't want to go because I hated lying to parents but I also said yes because we were going through something.

I told my mom I didn't want to go home just yet and if we could just drive around for a while. She agreed. She let me drive, saying I should practice. We got food on the way. I felt like I was getting good at driving so I turned towards the national highway. My mom asked me to slow down but I refused to do so. The-the brakes were faulty and I couldn't stop the car when another car appeared in front of us. I saw it was a small family, with a 2 year old. We drove over the divider, and the car turned upside down when I tried to not crash into the other car.

I-i was breathing, alive. There was just blood dripping from my head. I somehow managed to get out of the car and when I went to the other side to get my mom out—she-she wasn't breathing" My lip wobbled, threatening the tears to fall "She had more blood oozing out of her head, mouth, arms, I backed away and then saw another car, the one with the family, crashed into the divider a few feet away from our car. I ran towards them. The kid and the mother was dead. Before the ambulance could even arrive, I had killed 3 innocent people and took away all the happiness from a man. I was scared, Ishan. S-so scared. I ran away from them. Left my mom—just there. Left the other people to die"

I was crying by the time I told him the end of it.

His face was stern and he didn't say anything. I didn't expect him to.

I was young and scared. But that's no excuse. I shouldn't even be alive right now. I was supposed to die that day, with the people I killed.

"What did you mean when" A pause "When you said 'you did this'?"

"I had a dream" I told him "We were- were not in your house but our home. We- also had a...kid and I was pregnant with another. A girl"

If I thought he was stiff before, I was wrong. Because he didn't move at all now. Not even an inch.

He hates me.

"In the dream, everything was perfect until it changed and we were in a car. You were driving, too fast. I couldn't stop you when we, all of us, died the same way. I saw my body along with yours and our baby's lying there. No one noticed me. No one even looked at our dead bodies or heard my pleads, it was—"