BROKEN THINGS

24

Dinner was a silent affair. Without the team's chatter to fill the space, the four friends, well three friends and Rahul dined in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was just there. Not intrusive but not inviting. Rahul took the moment to savour their presence. Savour the way Anil didn't need to ask them to get their orders right. The way Sachin didn't need to look up to pass them what they wanted or needed. The way Sourav didn't ask before loading their plates with more until he was satisfied with the amount they were eating.

And he drank in their faces, peaceful for one last time before everything went to hell again. Sure they were all in some deep thought or the other that they weren't bothering to share but there was no anxiety, no deep worry. They were just existing and that was all he needed at the moment. Then he looked down at his plate, forced all of the flavored mush he was having to eat down his throat spoon by spoon, still glancing at each of them in between. He didn't want to fight them today. Or well any other day either. But today was the last day of true peace he was going to have with all three of them before they parted ways, each to their home.

After they were all done, Anil and Sachin stayed back some more, idly watching TV, empty small conversations filling the room until they got tired and just sat until their eyes began to droop. Rahul stayed quiet through all of it until Anil turned to him, a smile on his face. His first real smile towards Rahul in a long time. He reached out and ruffled his hair.

"I want to say good bye right now, tomorrow will be a hectic day, we leave early and who knows what's waiting for us in India. I don't know if I will have time to say this," Anil said with a smile, hands slipping from his hair to his shoulder, "I know a lot is going on and BCCI will soon be on your head. But I am just a call away okay? I will help you deal with them. You are going home tomorrow, so we won't meet for some time. But take care of myself for me will you?"

Rahul nodded hesitantly, not meeting his eyes until Anil tipped his chin up.

"I can't say I have forgiven you," he said, sorrowful, "But we are here okay?"

Rahul didn't answer, staring vacantly at him. Maybe they were here for now, but they won't be later. His throat had a deep pain, making it difficult to even think of speaking. All his energy was going in so Anil reached out and wrapped his arms carefully around him startling him. Anil smiled a little into his shoulder when he felt a very tentative hand on his back. No words came through but he supposed this would have to do. He got up, ruffled Sachin's hair, gave a hug to Sourav and went off to bed.

Now it was Sachin who turned to him, obviously with the same intention as Anil. But unlike Anil, he had no smile on his face. Just a pained grimace. He carefully reached out, probably to mimic Anil but his hand hesitated near the strands of his hair before dropping towards his face, carressing it gently. Rahul's head was starting to hurt with the pain that was originating from his throat.

"I will be with you soon," he whispered gruffly, trying for a smile, "You can call anytime you want for anything. I will listen. No judgement. Both of you,".

"Are you going to cry Sach?" Sourav teased him half heartedly, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Sachin punched him lightly before pulling him into a tight hug. And then he left, much faster than Anil had. They stared at the door in sync as it shut. And kept staring for a while. Things were about to change drastically once they reached India. This bubble they had built, thanks mainly to Anil, it was going to pop and everything of the outer world was about to touch them. Touch him. Wreck him. He didn't think he was ever going to be ready for it.

"Well. I don't know about you. But I am completely wiped," Sourav said with a yawn, glancing at the clock, "Huh it is not even ten? Weird. You don't mind me hitting the lights do you?" he turned to Rahul trying to engage him.