Love has always been the key reason why everyone get hurt. Yet this thing alone make people the happiest on earth. No matter how hard nor painful the path to that happiness is, there's always a way to find each other again. To find that person the second time around, nor the third, nor the fifth.
I wasn't sure how I would address love. But one thing is for sure, love is a mystery none can solve. It's a cycle of falling inlove, getting hurt, and falling again. There was a spectrum of emotions that relies on it's circle. And it is for humans to unravel, it is for us to explore.
Falling inlove is the best thing that ever happened to me. But falling inlove is also the painfullest thing I ever experience. There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well so I don't try. I don't wanna redo what's been done or else the new memories I built won't happen too. So I let it be, let it fly like a free bird in the sky.
I grasp the letter in my hand that Becky left for me. After the night we talked with our hearts I woke up the other day with Becky's departure. Only the letter lies outside my door. It was neatly designed, the penmanship was still terrible but I couldn't care less. My hand shake at the letter, and only then I realized how Becky cried writing this because there are a lot of tear drops in it.
Bracing myself, I held my chest tight as I started reading the letter.
Dearest Freen,
I am writing this letter with the heaviness of my heart. The words that are unspoken lingers in between the veins of my body, and I find it hard to use my voice to speak up for those that I hadn't say to you. First, I wanna let you know to not look for me, don't try to find me nor search for me, I will come back, once i'm ready but right now, give me space. Give me place to breathe. I am so lost, so fragile and I don't know how to fix myself. How to redo and repeat the things I wanted to do. I know I have lead you on at times, but worry less because I am ready to catch you again. Sooner, not now but maybe for the next four years again? Five? Or six? Who knows? We don't have to rush the things we always wanted our whole life.
Please take care of Fin, do not let her be alone at night. She cries when she don't see me, nor hear my voice. Cradle her to sleep or sing her a lullaby, be there for her when she needs you. Take care of my baby Freen, I am giving this time for you to also build the chances you miss, make up for the days, things, and moments I robbed from you. Make up the things that Fin hasn't experience because you were never there.
I am safe, I have enough money and a better access of shelter, so don't try to look for me. I know I am a jerk for always running away, but this time allow me to be. Allow me to be a jerk for once. I have to find myself first, I need to search the soul that I have lost so I can love you with the best of me. Be safe okay mai? Take care of our baby. And when I come back I promise to love you more than I loved you before. Wait for me na? Wait till I get back.
Becca
Becky left. One day Charlotte called me saying Becky is gone and no one knows about her whereabouts. The only thing that keeps me holding on is this letter, her promise to come back, her vows of new beginnings that i've been clinging to.
With the vast and dull skies above, the raindrops coated my shirt as I heave a silent cry.
"Come back Becky, please come back. I'm waiting for you and we will make it right this time." She exclaimed. Her heart was heavy thinking about the absence of Becca. But despite the pain that she felt, there was a glimmer of hope within her. " I'll wait for you to take this ring again... And I will vow to heavens that I will love you better than yesterday and wider than the future. I love you Rebecca Patricia Armstrong Chankimha."
Sadness—never, ever, something that we actively summon or wish to feel—manages to find its way to us every now and then. It's a natural part of life. But sometimes it helps to know that others are going (or have been) through the same thing. Because that means that things will get better, start looking up. I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much. The current’s too strong. They’ve got to let go, drift apart. That’s how it is with us.
But despite the sadness I felt, there's a glimmer of hope inside. That one day we could happen, that one day we can be together again. Because I know love will bond us again. And that's where I know that , a heart can be broken... but it keeps on beating, just the same
YOU ARE READING
Bewitching Rebecca Patricia Armstrong
General Fiction"Is she mine?" Freen asked with shaky hands watching the little kid playing on the playground. Her hair cascade on her shoulders, her eyes were brown, Freen's brown ones and her prominent nose is as of Becky's. Becky glared at Freen, her anger ragi...
