Chapter 21

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Freen came back to the hotel that day with a fair share of growing turmoil. Her mind would always wander back on Rebecca's rage that happened a few days ago in that milk tea shop. She didn't know it would cause a havoc towards the other woman, let alone make her more mad about the sudden revelation.

"Are you nuts Sarocha? You can't just drop some bomb just like that after years of making her life miserable! Are you crazy!" Nam snapped. Her forehead creased into thin lines as she gaved her best friend lecture of the consequences her action created.

"I didn't expect for it to be like that P'Nam! It's the cops!" She replied. She just finished storytelling Nam the exact context that happened.

"Still Freen! You could have handled the situation better! You didn't even enlighten her!" Nam replied, infuriation visible in her face.

"It's because you and that Charlotte showed up! I could have explained better!"  Freen rolled her eyes, her back hitting the soft cushion of the mattress.

"It's not our fault your a slow ass! Her girlfriend was looking for her for quite some time and you were also missing so I immediately think you both are together!"

Freen shrugged her shoulders. All she came here in England is for business, she didn't know her paths would cross with Rebecca again and now everything is blurry. Everything makes her feel confused.

"You know what let's just forget this Nam. You tell me yourself that we came here for business so let's just let it go. Set my flight tomorrow for New York."

Freen pinched the bridge of her nose to calm down her raging senses. Her breathing heavy with despair as her mind lingers through the memory of Becky and the past they left through back in England.

Only if things didn't go this way, maybe we could have been—

//





" FREEN SAROCHA! CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN?" Nam complained trying to match Freen's walking pace as they get out of the hotel.

"Is it my fault that you're legs are short?" Freen sarcastically replied. Before she can even take another stride, Freen was hit by Nam's bag making her groan in response. " Aw! What the heck!"

"Suits you well!" Nam replied opening the trunk of the car tucking their luggage inside.

When the driver start the car, both Freen and Nam settled comfortably on the soft cushion at the back engaged into a deep silence, none of them spoke, nor opened their mouth to speak. When they reached upon the huge highway of Thailand, Nam fixated her gaze outside the car opened the window and inhale the hug breeze hitting her face. Her hair blown by the air as they surge through the highways.

At a sudden stop, Nam turned her gaze to the neighboring cars beside them when she suddenly spotted Becky's car next to theirs. The window is open enabling her to look at who is inside. She squint her eyes a little, and the sight make her mouth hung agape.

"Shit!" She exclaimed. She saw Becky, with a kid playing with her cheeks as she drank her bottle of milk. The kid looks like Freen, like a replica of her best friend's face. Rebecca on the other hand didn't know someone was watching them, beknowst to her own awareness, Nam saw her and her daughter.

With a swift motion of her eyes, Becky meet Nam's gaze. Her eyes widen as both of them engulfed into a new dimension of emotions resurfacing in the between.

"Nam." She heard Freen's voice and a soft tap in her shoulder but she didn't pay attention to what Freen was saying. "Nam." Freen cooed for the second time, unable to catch Nam's attention, Freen flick Nam's forehead creating a yelping sound as Nam face Freen with daggers exiting her eyes.

"That's not nice! Why are you flicking my forehead?" Nam rubbed her forehead unaware of the reason why Freen flicked her real hard.

"You weren't listening." Freen rolled her eyes. " I was calling you more than enough and you weren't even listening."

"I was looking at someone!" She complained shifting her eyes back towards the opposite car but it was long gone. Becky's car is already nowhere to be seen and it'll be hard to look for it observing the heavy traffic in Thailand.

"Who were you looking at?" Freen darted her eyes on the window following Nam's eyes.

"No one." Nam replied. She held her chest in accordance to the gnawing curiosity she felt. She had seen Becky and she is a hundred percent convince that the kid Becky was holding look like Freen.

Not wanting to push the topic further, Freen didn't force Nam to say what is on her mind.  Instead she waited until is ready to speak, yet no matter how much she try to distract herself, she would always wander to the reason of why Nam's mood sudden change.

Fidgeting the hem of her skirt, Nam contemplated either to ask Freen the question she wanted to inquire or to just let it go and don't talk about it, yet she is curious and she wanted answers. " Freen." She started. Freen who was busy scrolling through her MacBook hummed in response, gaze fix on the screen. " Are you sure Becky lost the baby the moment she landed in England?"

Freen darted her eyes towards Nam. Her expression unreadable as she fumbled over the sheets of her notes tucking it back in her sling beside her. " Richie told me she lost our baby after arriving in England." She confidently replied, although Nam already know about that part, something deep within her chest is unconvinced about it.

"Did you investigate more when Becky miscarriage? Have you dig further for your child?" She asked.

Freen shook her head, she was confused on why Nam is suddenly asking about this things. " I am a business woman Nam, I tried everything I could the moment I knew about that baby but Becky is stubborn, she keep her walls higher than my connections so I didn't know what happened after that. The only person I knew the info's before is Richie." She replied.

"What if there is really a baby Freen? And the kid looks like you...would you make you're wrong doings much more better than the first time around?" Freen was puzzled with the sudden question, she knew Nam was insinuating something she can't point a finger on.

"Nam if there is a baby then we could have probably known when Becky stepped into that company, you know women who gaved birth has this changes in their body proportion, and we didn't see that in Becky, let alone a kid." She insist. Nam who saw the kid with her bare two eyes still stand on the hunch she formed.

"Freen you don't see mother's bringing their kids everywhere just for everyone to know they have a kid." She replied, Nam sighed as she rubbed her nape cautiously. " Let's be real Freen... If the baby died or not... What could you possibly do if you knew that you have a child with Rebecca?"

"Nam I—"

"That's only an assumption Freen! Don't take it too seriously!" Nam replied wanting to hear from her best friend what she would do. And somehow it excites her to imagine Freen being a mother. 

Freen, unable to escape from the situation,pinch the bridge of her nose and let the assumptions resonate into her being. She pictured out her, and Rebecca being together again, and this time with a baby cuddled in their arms as they sing a lullaby together. How beautiful.

"What Freen?" Nam repeated eager to hear the answer.

"If our baby is dead, I would accept it wholeheartedly and live with the regrets and pain... But if our baby lived, then I would do everything I can, everything. To be a better father and a loving wife to Rebecca Patricia Armstrong." Like a vow, she let the words roll our her tongue perfectly, like a syllable in the book as her heart speak the depths of her mind. And alone it purifies the remorse in her heart. Somehow it make her feel unease. Only if there is an alternate universe, Freen could have been a better partner, a better half, and a better mother. Only if there is.

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