A Cheers to the Life You Don't Get to Choose //Noah Sebastian

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Death has always scared me. I can handle any type of gore, childbirth, any other pain, but when it comes to the death of a loved one, I can't handle it.

I'm not sure if anyone is really "good" at handling a death in the family, but Noah has really kept it together. I know he still feels extremely guilty knowing this whole time. I reassured him that he cannot carry this with him after today. The funeral is a few minutes away, and I am trying to make sure everything is perfect for my dad, he deserves it.

Knowing who my dad was, there is going to be a good number of people here. Spencer and Nadia arrived this morning with Sloane and that really warmed my heart to hold my baby girl.

Love also scares the shit out of me. I've never had a love like Noah, and not sure I will ever experience that again, but in a different way I am starting to fall for Will, hard.

"White peonies. These flowers are absolutely perfect, thank you." I thank the funeral director. "I would like to pay before we begin if that is okay?" My dad set aside money for his own funeral, go figure.

"Oh dear, no worries. An anonymous donor has taken care of everything." My eyes are about to pop out of my head, they are so wide. Who would do that?

I am torn out of my thoughts when I feel arms snake around my waist.

"Hi, baby." Will whispers as he buries his face in my shoulder. I quickly turn around and hug him as a few tears spring from my eyes.

He lifts my chin with his fingers. "Hey, don't cry. It's okay."

"Fuck, I missed you." I cry into his chest again. "I'm sorry. I cannot stop crying." He looks so handsome in his grey suit. "Thank god for waterproof makeup, right?" I laugh as I wipe my tears.

"I'm here." He plays with my hair and rocks us slightly. I open my eyes and notice that Noah has already been looking at me from across the room, looking perplexed. He looks dashing in his deep blue suit.

I pull away from Will a little bit and kiss him. "Thank you for being here." I smile.

"I wouldn't miss it." He kisses me on the forehead and we part ways so I can greet others. Folio, Jolly, Ruffilo and Bryan walk in followed by all of Ice Nine Kills, Shevy, and all of Beartooth with Fleur on Caleb's arm. God, I just want to cry again watching our family that we've built support us.

I greet everyone and we take our seats. The front row consists of myself, Noah and Sloane, and Brent with his wife Kat, and my beautiful baby nephew Franklin. Will is sitting right behind me.

The funeral is held in a beautiful garden of a reception hall. My dad didn't care where it was held and I'm sorry, I respect all religion but a garden sounds much more intimate than sitting in a church.

As the funeral director speaks, I get more and more nervous about what I am going to say. Brent is a great public speaker, not me. I elect to go first so I don't embarrass myself after Brent.

I am extremely nervous. Will squeezes my shoulder and gives me kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, beautiful. You've got this." He whispers in my ear. My jaw basically drops to the floor and I can tell Will's eyes go wide at his own words. It surprisingly warms my heart and settles my anxiety, but I can't say it back right now. Not when I am about to say a eulogy for my father.

I took a deep breath and walk up to the podium with the microphone and clear my throat.

"For those of you who do not know me, my name is Avery Jane Hopkins and Jeff is my father. Everyone who knows my father will say he is hard headed, stubborn and direct. He is, and I definitely inherited it." Many people around the room nod and stifle a laugh.