The Magic Of Mateo

Names and dates

I go to mass on Sunday, aching ass and all, then to dinner with my mother and sister. The next week passes quickly; I study with Lexi on D&D night and he makes time for me one other afternoon as well. Harris and I watch movies when we have time, he helps me study, and I work a lot over the weekend. Then it's mass again and another week. On Friday I have to wake up very early to take my GED test and although Harris leaves a bit before me, we end up at the bus stop together. "Long time no see" he jokes. A very confused Latino man looks at us, surprised that the white dude is speaking Spanish. "Where's your test?" When I tell him, he laughs. "That's my office. You're stuck with me for awhile."

"No!"

"Yes."

Well that makes it easy. We end up at the Department of Public Social Services and I only have to take two of the tests today because I've already passed the others. Everyone who looks down on me for my English would be surprised to know that I passed the English and Social Studies portion years ago. So, only two to go but one is in the morning and one in the afternoon. He tells me I can come upstairs when I'm finished and we'll get dinner to celebrate. I sort of nod but once we're off the bus I begin rethinking all my life choices. I can't do this. I will fail. Why am I here?

Two and a half hours later I have done the math test. Somehow, against all odds, I may have passed. Of course I can't be sure but there were only a few questions that I had no idea about. Lexi did a very good job of teaching me and this week we went over a science pre-test so hopefully this afternoon will go well. First, lunch.

There's a shopping center about two blocks away and I have a lot of time to waste so I start hoofing it. There's a food truck so I grab a taco and when that's finished, I start window shopping. At a small hardware store, of all places, I find a plant that wants to come home with me. I don't really have the cash to spare or room for more but it's in a tiny pot and marked down to almost free. I make them double bag it and take it with me to the science test.

When I make my way upstairs and find Harris' office, he waves me inside. He is surrounded by paperwork but stands up and comes around the desk, smiling. I find myself wrapped in his arms and wrap one of mine around him, scared I'll poke him with my bag. "I'm so proud of you, Teo."

For what? "Why? I don't even know if I passed."

He steps back and looks into my eyes. "You tried. You showed up and did a hard thing and that's an accomplishment. How do you feel about it?"

I should knock on wood. "Actually pretty good. I... maybe I passed."

"Maybe you did. Let me know, yeah? What's in the bag?" he asks, heading back and sitting in his desk chair.

I can't even hide my annoyance at myself for buying this stupid thing. "Ugh, a plant I did not want and a person I did not want a plant for. But the universe put it here for me so I took it. I hate cacti."

"Okay, curiosity piqued. A cactus?"

I pull the tiny thing out. It's tipped sideways in the pot because it has root rot. "It is Nixon. Spikey and dangerous, I do not want to touch it. It has had too much to drink and now looks drunk."

Harris' eyes go wide and then he laughs so hard he smacks his desk. "Shit! Shit! Hell Mateo, that's perfect!"

Unfortunately so. How could I have ignored it? "I don't know why the universe thinks I should be responsible for or have any effect on that man. It is not a burden I wish to carry but maybe it's a lesson I haven't fully learned. It will come, in time. Or maybe it is too far gone and I will kill it. Who knows?" Is it possible... no, no. But maybe. It this a sign that I am linked to Harris? That the people he cares about I must also nurture? It's too soon to know what this thing between us will blossom into, if anything. Perhaps it will have a brief season or we will cross paths only during our rainy seasons. I'm hoping for more for the first time in my life although I can't imagine what that, or 'we' would look like.

"Are you going to use it like a voodoo plant and send bad vibes at it? Shit, was that offensive? Sorry."

Valid question. "That would damage me as much as him. I wanted to forget him but now I can't; there must be a reason. At least it is small and won't take up too much room. Besides, I do not wish Nixon harm. I lived with him for a long time and the beginning was fine. We had some good times together although he was spikey. The drinking made him much worse."

"It usually does. Speaking of Nix, I called Locke today. I've been inviting him over for years but now that Nixon's struggling, he's going to try to make it happen. He's going to bring his boyfriend and I'm hoping, begging and pleading for you to come to dinner with us? I'm always the third wheel and I know you like to eat. I'll pay."

"Harris, are you asking me on a double date?" I tease.

"Something like that."

I would do a lot more than eat at a restaurant for this man. I hope this army buddy isn't as bad as Nixon, but I can make it through one dinner. "Can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"Oh, first, yes. I will go. Locke is a last name, right? Nixon, Locke, but you are not Nielson. Why?"

He looks up and I immediately realize I've asked a harder question than I thought. It seemed innocent enough but I can read him well and I've unintentionally hit a nerve. "They usually called me LT but... you're right, I've asked them to call me Harris. When I got hurt and medically discharged, I had to start my life over. Being Harris again was one of the ways I distanced myself from the part of me that went through... war. And everything ugly that goes with it. It helped me heal, helps me heal. I'm not anywhere near finished yet."

"I understand." How can I not? I let him call me 'Teo'.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"

Honestly? "Home and we order can pizza?"

"It's been a long week and I'm sure you need to get Nixon taken care of. You got it, give me three minutes to drop a few things off on the way out."