Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

27 - The Future That We Fear

Camila nor I never cared about what people thought of us individually and when we didn't quite get the same love our friends and my family have bestowed upon us as a couple, we shrugged them off. As "evolved" as the world is, there is still prejudice against what's not considered normal. Some might fear change while others abhor them completely and I don't blame anybody for it. Some were brought up to have that unreasonable hate towards gay people and even when they mature, they would not be able to look past such disdain considering they were wired to feel that way.

As for Jette, I seem to be unable to scrape off the engraving she left in my head. Her pained face had been eternally haunting me since I saw it that morning. Each time the vision of the blonde decided to overcloud my senses, it looked more and more like I personally held the knife that was plunged deeper and deeper in her chest.

Camila only really cared about what her family thinks and that was what I asked her at the end of the day. We were in my girlfriend's pickup truck, about to head home and call it a day. The mini vacation both of us took over the holidays made our bodies programmed for relaxation. I was oddly drained and could barely keep my eyes open.

"Are we hiding us from your parents?" I cautiously asked while I took the reigns on the car stereo, tapping on buttons of the small touchscreen in the middle of the dashboard until I found "Golden Leaves" by Passenger. The securely buckled seat belt limited my movements, boring the strap against my clothed skin.

I heard my girlfriend sigh heavily while she leaned back on the cushioned seat. Her parents and her collective extended family were the reason why she had to part with Jette and I'd be lying if I said that did not stir the security I felt in our relationship. But somehow, a shy flicker of light had made itself perceivable to me. It had been two years after all and maybe she had nurtured enough courage to fight for her happiness this time. Regardless though, I knew I'd fight for her no matter what. 

"I don't want to." Camila retorted in a hushed tone, her gaze was set towards the throng of students running out of the school doors and into freedom; at least, for the day. The remorse in her voice was apparent and she reluctantly adjusted her head so she was facing me. Her eyes were already slightly glossed and her entire face just looked pained. "But we have to for now. I'll honestly understand if you don't wa-"

"It's okay, Camz." I interjected, resting my hand on her thigh while I leaned closer to her. "I promise, it is. You and I can talk to them when you're ready. I'll be right there beside you." I assured her with a tight lip smile. My voice slightly wavered as my unsettling feelings over talking to her disapproving parents surfaced. 

I had no earthly idea how I was ever going to talk to the two doctors knowing full well that their welcoming grins could just magically contort into something along the lines of disgust in a snap of a finger. Just the thought of sitting on a couch while they angrily paced back and forth in front of us ignited my supposedly slowed down pulse. 

"Thanks, Lo." Camila slightly pecked the tip of my nose before attaching her lips to mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

All the while, I kept thinking about the risks and corresponding repercussions of our actions at school. With that much people knowing of our relationship through rumors or first hand knowledge, word was bound to reach the ears of the Cabello's. A part of me thought that maybe we were being too reckless, but how else was I supposed to show her I love her? Keeping our love within the confines of a secure four-walled space wasn't exactly the embodiment of pride. I was not certain as to how Camila would react and if she decided to just drop me like some worthless garbage like she did with Jette, I'd be devastated. 

The next couple of weeks had been quite eventful. We all were being blundered by the February 1 deadline of universities and colleges we planned on applying to. I found out Camila hadn't even sent a single college application but had gathered requirements and wrote essays just like I did. We were ready to send them out by the third week of January, making sure to apply to multiple and similar colleges to give us options and make sure we spend the next four years of our lives together. Neither of us were thrilled by the thought of a long distance relationship.