Everyone changes

Chapter 54

Third Reich's view:

The rest of the time we swam together we talked a lot about family. Then Soviet and I rest a bit in the steam bath before we shower and change and then go back to our room. There Soviet lies down on our bed while I lie on top of him, snuggle up against his chest and get tired again. "Reich don't fall asleep!

Dinner will be ready in an hour.", Soviet reminds me. "Please let me sleep for the hour.", I beg him, "I really need some sleep." He strokes my cheek with his hand and says:"Fine, but I can't guarantee that I'll actually wake you up when you're to cute." "Thanks!", I whisper, slowly trying to fall asleep again.

Third Reich's vision in his dream:

Dream 1

I sit on the railing of my terrace and take a stone in my hand, some of which I have previously collected along the way, so that I can use them to get rid of my anger at Soviet. I throw the stone as far away from me as I can. "Dieser Arsch! (That ass!)", I scold. I hear footsteps behind me.

"Was willst du? (What do you want?)", I ask. The one behind me replies: "Ich wollte herausfinden warum du Steine durch die Luft fliegen lässt, anstatt mit ihm darüber zu reden. (I wanted to find out why you're throwing rocks through the air instead of talking to him about it.)" I make it clear to my country leader: "Ich werde garantiert nicht mit diesem Arsch reden! Ich will ihn nie wieder sehen und wenn doch, reiße ich sein Herz mit meinen bloßen Händen heraus! (I'm definitely not going to talk to that asshole! I never want to see him again and if I do, I'll rip his heart out with my bare hands!)"

He leans his arms on the railing next to me and says: "Reich wir beide wissen, dass du das nicht machen würdest. Ich kann gut verstehen, dass du wütend bist, aber wenn ihr wütend aufeinander bleibt, werdet ihr beide darunter leiden.

Ich weiß, dass du ihn immer noch liebst und du ihm daher am liebsten in die Arme springen würdest, daher könntest du versuchen die ganze ungesunde Wut hinter dir lassen und mit Hoffnung und Liebe zu ihm zu fliegen. Bitte versuche es zu mindestens einmal, denn ich kann dich nicht so sehen. Du bist der Einzige zudem ich Vertrauen habe und ich will, dass du dein 'glücklich bis ans Ende eurer Tage' hast, weil du es verdienst.

(Reich we both know you wouldn't do that. I can understand your being angry, but if you stay angry with each other you'll both suffer.

I know that you still love him and that's why you want to jump into his arms, so you could try to put all the unhealthy anger behind you and fly to him with hope and love. Please try at least once cause I can't see you like this. You're the only one I trust and I want you to have your 'happily ever after' because you deserve it.)" This makes me more sad than angry.

I doubt it: "Was ist, aber wenn mein Schicksal kein 'glücklich bis ans Ende unserer Tage' ist? Was ist wenn er mich nicht mehr liebt und e- (But what if my destiny isn't happily ever after? What if he doesn't love me anymore and h-)"

"Wenn er dich nicht mehr Liebt, dann ist es keine wahre Liebe, denn wahre Liebe hält für immer und sie kann niemals zerstört werden. Und du brauchst dir keine Gedanken über das Schicksal zu machen, denn du bist immer noch derjenige, der entscheidet. (If he doesn't love you anymore, then it's not true love, because true love lasts forever and it can never be destroyed. And you don't have to worry about fate because you're still the one who decides.)", he interrupts me,

"Flieg zu ihm, konfrontiere ihn und vertragt euch wieder. (Fly to him, confront him and make up.)" "Glaubst du wirklich? (Do you really think so?)", I ask uncertainly, because I'm not entirely sure about the idea of flying to Soviet. "Ja, wenn du ihn liebst, dann fliege zu ihm. Liebe ist es wert dafür zu kämpfen und das weißt du. (Yes, if you love him, fly to him. Love is worth fighting for and you know it.)", he replies. "Du hast vollkommen recht! Ich mache mich sofort auf den Weg!

Ich brauche ihn! (You're absolutely right! I'll be on my way immediately! I need him!)", I agree and go off the railing into my house to take keys, food, drink, sound, jacket, maps, compass and the piece of paper Soviet left me. Then I go outside again and asked Adolf: "Macht es nichts, wenn ich vermutlich für einige Tage bei Sowjet bleibe? (Doesn't it matter if I probably stay with the Soviet for a few days?)"

"Ich lasse mir schon eine Ausrede einfallen, mache dir keine Sorgen Reich. Fliege zu deinem Sowjet und sei wieder glücklich. (I'll think of an excuse, don't worry Reich. Fly to your Soviet and be happy again.)", he replies. I say thank you: "Danke! Du bist ein echt guter Freund! (Thank you! You are a really good friend!)" "Reich flieg jetzt los oder willst du dich noch die ganze Nacht bei mir bedanken? (Reich fly off now or do you want to thank me all night?)", he says. Because it often happens that I deliver an entire speech out of nothing.

"Gute Idee! (Good idea!)", I tell him before I say, "Bis bald! (See you soon!)" I can still hear him calling: "Guten Flug! Ich wünsche dir viel Glück! (Have a good flight! I wish you the best of luck!)" I fly to Soviet's house with everything and I'm so excited to sing or hum songs from my memory as I fly through the night. I'll fix everything and hug him until I run out of strength. Kiss him like there's no tomorrow.

When I arrive at his house I see through the window that he is sleeping. Shouldn't I fly back home and try tomorrow and not in the middle of the night? No, now or never! But what if he doesn't accept my apology? Should I even be the one apologizing?

Me and he both made mistakes and if he doesn't see his, I still want to be with him and love him. I knock on the door and wait before fluttering over to his window and knocking on it until I see him move. Should I really wake him up? Can't the doubts just stop!?

I'm back at the front door and I knock a few more times. Please open the door Soviet. I want to feel you again and hug you to never let you go. The door really does open and Soviet, looking very tired, is standing there. I should have come later. No, Soviet just had bad luck and I'm here now! "Sowjet... es tut mir leid.

Mein Verhalten war nicht akzeptabel und ich entschuldige mich aus tiefsten Herzen. Bitte vergebe mir. (Soviet... I'm sorry. My behavior was unacceptable and I apologize from the entirety of my heart. Please forgive me.)", I beg him while looking up at him. "Нет! (No!)", I hear from him. Did I just misunderstand? I ask: "Wie bitte? (I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?)" "No! I will not forgive you Third Reich! Daring to come here in the middle of the night was a mistake!

Get out of my country and don't set foot here again!", he orders me, sounding a little uncertain and afraid at the first few words he said. I come closer to him and beg: "Bitte Sowjet! Es tut mir Leid! Mach was du willst... mach alles was du willst mit mir, aber bitte verzeihe mir für meine Fehler. Ich liebe dich und ich kann nicht ohne dich Leben. Mach alles, aber bitte... Bitte vergebe mir. (Please Soviet! I'm sorry! Do what you want... do anything you want with me, but please forgive me for my mistakes. I love you and I can't live without you. Do anything, but please... Please forgive me.)"

"Didn't you hear? Get out!", he yells at me and pushes me away. "Go away, filthy nazi! And don't ever come back here! I hate you and I never want to see you again!", he yells full of anger or maybe even hatred and slams the door. Filthy nazi? So that's what he thinks of me! "Du verdammter Dreckskommunist!

Ich hoffe du wirst in der Hölle schmoren, denn das ist der Ort wo ein Satanist wie du landen wirst! (You fucking filthy communist! I hope you're going to burn in hell because that's where a satanist like you will end up!)", I roar in anger. How could I be so stupid and love someone like him? How could I be so mad at him I still can't believe it and I can't believe what I just said to him.

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- 1484 words

- Original: 11/5/2021

- Translation: 6/8/2023