Face your fears (I was lying)

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So...y'all are probs gonna get a bunch of double updates and if I'm nice maybe even a triple update but can't be sure on that one...

Also in terms of what some of you were...discussing in the comments section...

Ehhh-you'll find out...eventually (I have a scene planned for you to see but you gotta wait)

Also if it's sorta rushed

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To be entirely honest she didn't know how to feel about being on a different team then Alec. While she was happy she didn't have to suffer through harsh words, intense stares or full out pure silence , it also meant her obligation to create drama and make the season interesting was ten times harder.

Without an obvious opposite to create that push-pull that drew viewers in it made it much more difficult to interest the camera and the people who watched the show.

Though jumping out of a plane was certainly not something she ever really wanted to do again -she wasn't scared of heights, she literally lived in an old abandoned building that could collapse at any moment (and she was on one of the highest floors) no it was because she wasn't sure her parachute would open, Kristal could be mean like that sometimes- especially after Ashley fell on top of her.

To say that hurt would be an understatement , obviously she brushed it off though, they were being recorded 24/7, but she could feel where a rock had been dangerously close to stabbing her in her stomach.

Rolling her eyes at the definitely not real apology that came from the blonde she got up and dusted herself off before turning to find where they needed to go, she had no doubt it had not been an accident to land on her and honestly...pretty sucked up to with pain on an eight year old...maybe after everything she could cancel her on Twitter for that... oh wait, she needed access to a phone and an account for that. Nevermind then, she'd figure something else out she supposes.

From the moment she sat next the blonde to the beginning of the first challenge Fiore wanted to fucking pull, her, hair, out . In all honesty she didn't in anyway possible want to be in an alliance with any of the people on her team -while she could admit it would be nice to not have someone vote for her putting acting on top of acting on top of even more acting sounded absolutely horrible - but being rejected and laughed at by everyone apparently was something people wanted to see (comment courtesy of a certain host) and if it kept her in the game and gave her her money longer she couldn't really argue.

Though it was tiring pretending to be innocent yet manipulative and annoyed yet unbothered, it was like playing two people at once and God was it difficult. She could barely restrain herself from ripping hair out of her head again -Kristal had warned her after she'd been caught doing so (she'd ran into Alec in the hallway) because it ruined her appearance and made her look older than she was (mentally apparently didn't count for jack shit)- and instead gripping the dirt and grass beneath her and pulling it out of the ground. Not the best alternative but she didn't necessarily have a lot to work with.

To be fair she wasn't joking when she said words hurt, her skin was tough from the streets but she was still a kid -a kid that had trauma triggers from too many things to be anywhere near healthy- and it sometimes felt like it was burned into her skin.

The challenge was almost the worst part of it all -the worst was how much she had to act, it reminded her of putting on layers of makeup (not something she'd ever done, just what she'd seen her mom do before) but in her case it was like seven layers one right after each other- and when they announced it she'd been close to just sitting down and crying.

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