𝔻𝔸𝕃𝕀𝔸ℍ

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛

Khadija and Hashim started helping set the table while I stood there awkwardly, watching them.

"Pass me those plates, daliah". Hashim interrupted my thoughts. I looked at the said plates and back at him. He nodded encouragingly and I did as he asked.

Minutes later, we were seated around the table with food before us and they served themselves. Khadija served them actually. When she was done, I scooped a very very little amount of food on my plate, just not to be disrespectful.

"I see you haven't let go of this habit. You are not going to eat my food". His mother said and I looked at her. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm not hungry". I said simply add she rolled her eyes like she knew I was going to say that.

"So, where are your parents?". She asked suddenly and I looked at her.

"Mama...". Hashim started.

"You were the one that said I should get to know her". She told him.

"You shouldn't ask questions like that".

"How am I supposed to know the questions she would like to answer and the one she wouldn't?". Before their quarrel got out of hand, I answered her question.

"They are dead".

"Oh". She replied. Oh?

"So, that's why Aliyu took you in?". She said thoughtfully.

"Tell me your life before then".

"Mama...". Hashim interrupted her again.

"I'm just asking because I want to know, Hashim. I asked my boy too check on her, but there was nothing. No places lived, no schools attended or anything".

"Why would you do that mama?". He asked unbelievably somewhat annoyed.

"Babe, calm down". Khadija chipped in.

"Where you perhaps a criminal and Aliyu covered you?". She said with a smirk, she was having fun. I pushed my chair back, standing up.

"Daliah..". Hashim called.

"I'm fine, I just need some air". I left the place quickly.

I knew couldn't stay here, I didn't just need air. I needed to be away from this environment. Without thinking, I left and luckily for me, I found a rickshaw quicker than I thought and even though I had never ridden it before and my mind was all over the place, I managed to tell him my address and he drove off.

I could already see my hands shaking, I didn't have water to take my pills and I was starting to see images flashing in my head.

Somehow, I don't know when, the man parked in front of the house, with shaky hands, I paid him and went inside. I rushed to the kitchen and as I searched for a knife, I mistakenly threw a glass bowl down. I only saw it fall, I didn't hear it shatter, I was to busy looking for a knife. I found one and I had held it to my wrist, I just needed to drag it down but Baba's disappointed face flashed before my eyes and I dropped the knife. I heard it drop and I slid to the floor, a painful sob escaping my lips.

I didn't know for how long, I sat there crying but sometime later, I stopped and just stayed there and then I heard the front door open, followed by heavy footsteps, I perceived his cologne before I saw him.

When he saw me on the floor, he quickly knelt before me, taking in the knife then searching my arms for any sign of harm. Did he not see that there wasn't blood on the knife? I pulled my arms away and stood up.

"Daliah... I'm so sorry about my....". He started and I stopped by the door.

"It's okay". I said quietly.

"What? No.. it's not okay, you always say that but it's not". I turned to him with a glare.

"Then maybe I would have been okay, if you had just let me stay at home". I told him and he stared at me with an annoyed expression.

"Oh, excuse me for trying to create a good relationship between you and my mother".

"I don't want that! She doesn't like me and you can't force her to". I said the last sentence more quiet than the first.

He stood looking at me and I stared back, my chest heaving. I turned on my heel and started my way towards the stairs.

"Daliah...". He called and I stopped, without turning to look at him.

"Are you not supposed to be at khadija's?". I reminded him and left him there.

Minutes later, I heard his car leaving. I decided to pray and maybe calm down before I really harm myself now.