Mute

Chapter 22 : Math test panic

Chapter 22

A few days later...     

Riker POV

I had to ask Mark for help on my math homework every single night since I started school. I'm doing ok in the rest of my classes. History is pretty simple. I just need to memorize stuff. English isn't too bad either. We have to read a book and then write about it, and I don't mind reading.

Science is kind of difficult though. I'm taking biology this year and everything is just so complicated. I might need help with biology soon.

But math was my biggest problem. I understand it when Mark goes over it with me, but I'm not sure I actually learned it.

Rocky keeps trying to tell me I'm smart, but I think that's just because he hasn't seen me get any bad grades. But that might happen tomorrow.

We have a math test tomorrow. My teacher gave us a study guide on the kind of problems we're going to have to solve tomorrow. But I just don't think I'm going to be able to remember how to do it.

As soon as I got home from school, I went to the kitchen so Mark could look at the study guide with me. Sitting with him in the kitchen after school has kind of become our routine.

But as soon as we started going over the study guide, I was immediately close to tears because I didn't remember any of this.

I covered my face with my hands and laid my head down on the table.

"Riker, what's wrong?" Mark asked, gently putting his arm around me.

"He's scared he's going to fail his math test tomorrow and that you're going to hurt him for it," Rocky said.

Rocky always sat in the kitchen while I did my math homework with Mark. And I was glad he was here so he could talk for me.

"Riker, I thought we already talked about it. Well, I talked and you listened. I don't care what grades you get. I just care that you're trying your best. No matter what grade you get on it, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't care if you get a zero."

I kept my head down on the table.

"Riker, come on. It's ok. The test doesn't matter," Rocky said.

Mark put his hands under my arms and lifted me onto his lap. I turned my head against his chest.

"Riker, calm down. We can go over your study guide. And then however you do tomorrow is fine."

He kept his arms tightly around me until I calmed down again. And then he let me stay on his lap while we went over the study guide.

Later...

Rocky POV

I was really worried Riker wasn't going to sleep all night. He was practically wide awake because he's so anxious for his math test tomorrow.

I was currently in his bed with him and he wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Riker, why are you so anxious about the math test if dad said it didn't matter what you get on it?"

I handed him his phone so he could tell me.

Because I want to do good.

"I know you do. But if you don't, it's ok. Nothing bad is going to happen. So why are you so anxious?"

I guess I've just been terrified of getting bad grades my whole life, it's hard to not be scared now.

"Ok. Well just try your best tomorrow. It doesn't matter what you get. If you fail it, nothing bad is going to happen. So if you think you didn't do good, please don't freak out about it. Everything will be fine no matter what, ok?"

He nodded.

"Ok, now do you think you could try to get some sleep now? I don't want you to be up all night and then exhausted for your test tomorrow."

He laid down beside me and cuddled into my side, like usual. I pulled the covers over us.

Now I just need to hope he can fall asleep. And then hopefully not wake up from a nightmare and have a horrible panic attack.