Mute

Chapter 20 : Shoved

Chapter 20

A few days later...    

Rocky POV

Dad has helped Riker with his math homework every day this week. And Riker seems to be doing really well. He's been fine at school. But he just seems to be getting upset at night before we go to bed. I don't know what it is. And he doesn't want to tell me, so I haven't pushed him to do it. But I'm so curious.

I made sure to ask him if it had to do with school, and he said no. So that's good. That means it's not about grades and no one is bullying him. 

Maybe it's still from his fear of bedtime. I'm not sure. 

But it's the weekend now, and I hope he can relax.

Dad, Ross, and Ryland were going to practice hockey today. I asked Riker if he wanted to go and he said no. So I asked him if he wanted me to stay home with him and he said yes. So I didn't go. 

Ross was annoyed with me because it's hard to practice hockey with only 3 people, but Riker is only going to be here for about 2 more weeks, so I'm choosing to spend time with him.

Unfortunately, it was storming out today, which was making Riker extremely nervous, so all we were doing was watching a movie in the living room under a bunch of blankets. 

As the storm got closer and louder, I could feel him tensing up next to me. I don't think he's necessarily afraid of the storm. But I think loud noises trigger a trauma response for him. 

At one point, he pulled the blankets completely over his head.

"Riker, you ok?"

He found my hand under the blankets and held it tight.

I gently pulled the blankets down, off his head.

"I know you're scared. But there's nothing to be afraid of. I want to see if you can calm yourself down, even though the storm is getting louder. If you need to hide under the blankets again, that's fine. But can you try to see if maybe you could try to get over your nerves? I just want you to see that nothing bad is going to happen to you."

He wrapped his arms around me from the side and rested his head against my chest. So I put my arm around him, trying to make him feel safer. But I just want to show him that nothing bad will happen. And maybe if he sees that nothing happens, he won't be so anxious of loud noises anymore.

I looked down at him and he had his eyes shut super tight. He also kind of had a death grip on me. 

But he wasn't shaking. And he wasn't crying.

"You're doing good, Riker. Just focus on the movie."

There was a loud crack of thunder and Riker flinched.

"Riker, you're fine. It's just thunder. It won't hurt you."

He turned his face into my side so I couldn't see it anymore. I started rubbing his back. 

Dad, Ross, and Ryland got back from hockey. Ross and Ryland went to the kitchen to get a snack, but dad came over to see how Riker was doing.

He sat down next to us. Riker turned and climbed onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him tight.

"How is everything?" Dad asked.

"He's nervous of the storm because it's loud. And he wanted to hide under the blankets. But I asked him if he could stay out from under the blankets so he could see that nothing bad is going to happen. I know he's scared, but he's doing really good, and I'm really proud of him."

Dad was holding Riker super tight in his arms. 

"Rocky's right, Riker. You're not going to get hurt from the thunder. Loud noises aren't going to hurt you. Just because something is loud, doesn't mean it's bad."

I could see Riker still had his eyes shut super tight.

"Riker..." Dad said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"He's shaking now."

"Riker, it's just a storm. It won't hurt you."

I put my hand on his arm, trying to make him feel better. 

Ross and Ryland came in.

"What's going on?" Ryland asked.

"Riker's scared of the storm," I said.

"Again?" Ross asked.

"Yes, again," I said, shoving his shoulder.

He shoved me backwards, really hard, and I hit the back of the couch.

"Knock it off!" I said, shoving him back again.

"You started it!" Ross said, trying to shove me again.

"Guys, stop. Riker doesn't like yelling," Ryland said.

Ryland sat down on the couch on the other side of dad and put his hand on Riker's back.

"You're making him shake, so stop yelling," Ryland said.

Riker got a tighter grip on dad and buried his face in dad's shoulder.

"He's such a baby," Ross mumbled.

I jumped up from the couch and shoved Ross so hard he fell. He froze, just looking up at me like he couldn't believe I'd just done that. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push you that hard," I said, quietly.

"Ross, you're grounded, remember? You're supposed to be in your room," dad said.

"But Rocky pushed me! Hard! He should be getting yelled at! Not me!"

"It wouldn't have happened if you had been in your room, where you're supposed to be," dad said.

Ross got up and left without saying anything else.

"Rocky, you shouldn't have done that," dad said.

"I know, but he was being so mean to Riker. You weren't doing anything, so I did."

"You're not in trouble this time, but do not push your brother again."

"I won't. I'm sorry."

I sat back down on the couch and put my hand on Riker's shoulder.

"Riker, are you doing ok?" I asked.

He nodded into dad's shoulder.

"Do you want to go back under the blankets?" I asked.

He shook his head no.

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

He reached for his phone in his pocket and started texting.

I know I'm not going to get hurt from the loud noises. But they make me panicky and I can't control it. But I know I'm safe. And I trust you. So I need to stay out from under the blankets.

"Riker, I'm so proud of you," I said, wrapping my arms around him.

"Why?" Dad asked.

I showed him the text Riker sent me.

"Riker, that's great. I'm so proud of you," dad said.

I was glad he was being brave. But I'm so scared he's going to have to go back home. And then he won't be safe anymore.