A Touch Of Hate

Chapter 8

Verity

There are multiple kinds of fear, I'd learned.

Fear of heights, for example, is basic, survival driven. There is also a fear of failure, disappointment, or mental hurt – those are more complicated, as they depend on personality. Fear of pain, fear of loneliness, and fear of loss – are universal, no matter how much people prefer to deny them.

Yet, my fear of Captain was none of the above. It was not primary, as I knew he wouldn't kill me. Not yet, at least. It was not typical because I saw people adoring him more than fearing him.

Was it me, then? Was it because of my history or because of his voiced threats?

As he stared at me, I froze, silently hoping to blend in with the Wall. His cold grey-blue eyes reminded me of steel as they fixed on me. A muscle ticked in his jaw, and the circles under his eyes darkened, making him look deadly. I struggled for breath. A look of revulsion took over his face, and he stepped back as though he couldn't stand being close. Neither could I, for that matter. His presence was too much to bear. It was suffocating even without the threats.

Even though I knew I deserved them.

Taking a deep breath, he turned away, facing the street. "I know more than enough," he said in a low voice, watching something on the other end of the road. I followed his gaze, focusing on the galloping horse.

"Levi! We're retreating." Commander shouted, stopping his stallion right in front of us.

"We haven't even made it to the border! You mean my troops died in vain? I'm sure you have a good reason for this." Levi shouted back, walking closer to Erwin.

"The titans are after the town! They've started moving northward as a group!" He said, catching his breath. "It's just like five years ago. Something's happening in the town. They may have..." he paused, shifting his gaze from one soldier to another. "...broken through the Wall!"

What?!

I stared at the Commander. He must have gone mad. It was impossible! The titans could not have... Unless...

Colossal and Armored titans are back...

At that thought, fear travelled down my spine like a shock wave. I pushed myself off the Wall, staggering forward. My mouth went dry, and I couldn't speak, nor could I hear or process things. My mind swirled with the most horrific scenarios it could imagine.

I'd seen titans now. I knew what they were capable of. And I couldn't wish this upon most of the people behind the Walls.

Shit! Kenny is behind the Walls as well!

My blood ran cold, and I stared blankly as the Commander yelled out commands and Levi's squad gathered, getting ready to leave. I couldn't feel much when someone pushed the horse's reins into my palms and forced me into a saddle.

I could hardly recall our journey back to the Walls. Humanity was about to fall, and I was about to fail my mission. I was going to lose everything I'd never even realized I had. Fear was the only thing on my mind. It was so potent that my teeth rattled against each other, and my hands trembled as I grabbed reins with all my might, pushing the horse to run faster. I had to forcefully disregard all the scary pictures my imagination was conjuring. Instead, I had to focus on my mission, promise, and debt.

The Wall drew closer. I could see several titans trying to go through the hole where the gate used to be. It seemed impossible. We'd left the city less than a day ago. Yet, the gate was broken now, and the city was stuffed with titans hungry for human flesh. I shivered as we gained more speed. My horse was already wheezing from the long run, and I could imagine other horses were also at their limits. We flew through the fields like the wind, the scenery barely settling in, as the Wall Rose loomed over us like death herself. Only sometime after did I notice there was something wrong with the hole in the gates. I couldn't quite tell from the distance, but it looked as though...