Insecurities, Possible Job Idea? + Mind pour out:
I feel insecure. I mean Olivia's usually really nice to me. Maybe she's right. Maybe I am losing my sense of fashion. Maybe I should try harder. I weigh 105 lbs. I should start losing weight. Mom calls me fat. She says that I need to eat less. She says I have to study more. She's right. I won't put a single bit of food in my mouth for a week and see how many pounds I lose. My body should go into a state of Ketosis. That should make me look like a K-pop Idol. Maybe I should become an Idol. Then, maybe Mom and Dad will be proud of me. But then, I won't be able to have a relationship with Jason. It's commonly seen that an idol shouldn't have kids. Idols are meant to be innocent. Maybe I can just swear off my love for Jason. After all, I don't want to get murdered like that one idol who had a child. Nobody knows who the child was. Or maybe I shouldn't. I still have an undying amount of love for Jason. But he loves Olivia. I should just give up. Jason could never love someone like me. Does he even give a shit for me? Most likely not. He's always ranting about how he loves and misses Olivia so much. I'm just tired of him constantly ranting about Olivia. Like, we fucking get it. You miss Olivia. I bet he only thinks about Olivia. That must be why he wants lessons on fighting. So he can impress her. Be the Ultimate bad boy supreme? I just want his love. He has never high-fived me or made any physical touch with me. Maybe I should give up on him. Yes. I should. I doubt he'll ever love me back. I doubt I can get rid of these cursed feelings. I feel hopeless. Falling into a pit I can never get out of. Cupid is stupid. Nothing can hurt more than love. Rejection, specifically. I feel numb with pain from the love. Love is addicting, but too much love can lead to endless pain. That pain seems to hurt more than anything in the world. Even if I confess, I know what he'll say. "Oh. I'm sorry but I love Olivia." I'd rather suffer silently. I don't want to hear those words. Those words will only cause me more pain.
Writer's Note:
I am so so sorry I didn't upload last week! But good news, I am now a year older! :D Have a great day!
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The Hopeless Romance
RomanceJason has been yearning for his crush- his best friend. They met in school. His crush's name was Olivia. She had not known until his friend had spilled the beans. He had been so embarrassed. But now Olivia is going long distances to school. She had...
