Pure Emotion Spill Out:
Oh god. No way I'm falling for Cassie. She's just so.. silly. I can't be falling for her. But I am. I mean, Cassie was the only one who stood up for me when I got bullied. She always gave me some affection, she never hurt me, and she never betrayed me. I was hurt and betrayed multiple times before Cassie came. Even the teachers came into hurting me, emotionally. It didn't feel great, having no one on your side. Every night I would question my existence. I often thought about suicide. But when Cassie came, every bad thought when flying out the door. Haha. Just convince yourself! I hope I don't end up hurt again if I do decide to confess. I started becoming a troublemaker in school to protect myself. I keep getting scolded by Cassie for getting into fights with other kids. Eventually, I broke a kid's hand leg. They deserved it for talking shit about Cassie and planning to hurt her. I keep thinking about Cassie. But I can tell that she has a crush on Jason. She always runs her ideas and plans through me before going up to Jason. I don't love her for her looks. I love her for her personality. I wouldn't want her thinking the other way. But I still can't force feelings. I have to learn to forget all of this nonsense. After all, who could ever love someone like me? I don't have any idea how I could love someone truly. I have never been loved romantically before. I lie to hide those emotions deep inside. I know that if I ever reveal my real emotions. They will never forgive me. They'll think it's a joke. I always need to completely deny anything that could potentially get me in deep shit. I will not let any weaknesses be found. All I can do is keep on lying while wishing that one day my lies will come true. I'm only halfheartedly loving Cassie. So, sincerely, what I would be wishing for is to love her with all my heart. If I do die by suicide, I would only want to voice the last words "I love you." to Cassie. I wouldn't do so of course, because if I did I'd only be passing up my pain and suffering to someone else. Just like how when my mother was killed. It only passed the pain up to me and my dad. I don't want someone else to feel pain because of my selfish wants. My dad was trying his best to not cry when he found out Mom was murdered. Mom was an idol. She wasn't supposed to have children. She got murdered by her stalker after her concert. The stalker found out Mom was lying with all of her "I love you" shit. She truly only wanted to love her fans but couldn't. Mom never told me "I love you." I think it was because she was afraid that would be a lie as well. Her fellow idols hated her. But I'm going to chase Mom's spotlight. I will be an idol just like her. I promise. I hid the fact that I could see Dad tearing up. But I pretended not to notice to keep him strong. I couldn't cry then. I was just shocked and hurt. I wanted to get revenge. The stalker was said to be a serial killer, but he still lives. I will hunt him down and kill him. I will avenge you Mother.
Writers Note:
Wow. This took a ton of ideas and inspiration from My Star. It's longer than usual, I hope you enjoy reading it! <3 xoxo
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The Hopeless Romance
RomanceJason has been yearning for his crush- his best friend. They met in school. His crush's name was Olivia. She had not known until his friend had spilled the beans. He had been so embarrassed. But now Olivia is going long distances to school. She had...
