The HalfBlood- FourthWing Fanfic

47- The Confession

He was silent, I was hoping that was the right thing to say so he'd get mad, leave, something. Anything other then be by me.

" You know why I needed to.. I could see them coming Freya. It was to close. I got you out just in time."

I shake my head, trying to control my anger.

" I did it-"

" Because of the bond, yea.. if I die you die and all the other bullshit you recite to me every day. I know." I snap.

He sighs, pulling something out of his own cloak, taking a match lighting up a roll. He takes a long deep breath of whatever the hell that was exhaling... No, it was the same thing he had that night as well. The overly sweet aroma floods my senses, he offers it to me which I push away.

" This is the second time you've offered me drugs.. Quite the Wingleader you are.." I mumble.

He exhales blowing the smoke right in my face, " Sorry, do you prefer I have a stick up my ass like Dain? Follow the Kodex to a T? Would you prefer that?"

" You don't get to be pissy with me.." I retort waving the smoke back at him.

" You act like I wanted to Freya." He says a little quieter, staring straight at me, no expression on his face, blank. Though I think I see a little bit of guilt in his eyes.

" You didn't need to. Not like that."

" It was the quickest way to get you to listen, well...to get you away."

I scoff shooting up, " Screw you." I spit.

" I couldn't think just about you and Mira, Freya. There were others there, It's my responsibility as Wing leader. All of you are my responsibility.  If the gryphons reached us.. I would've been ok, Dain would've, the first years.... No, Liam, Hetta... I needed to think about them too."

I pause to look at him, I see his reasoning... " I don't know if Mira is dead or alive Xaden! And I'll be damned if our last conversation was about... THIS!" I mention between the two of us. " She's protected me countless times, and the ONE time I couldn't because you didn't allow me!"

I feel my throat choke up as I stare at him, I feel the warmness increase. I needed to look away, I ran a hand down my face refusing to lose composure. He takes another drag before standing up, again slowly, calmly coming over to me. 

Even at my taller height he still towers over me, I glare up at him. He blows out the smoke as he reaches again in his cloak, pulling out a small beige paper with the Navarrian seal. " For you." he speaks gently placing the small paper in my hands.

I give him one final look before opening the letter up so fast I almost ripped it. I let out a heavy relieved sigh " She's alive?!"