To Capture A Heart | The Maze Runner

2.9 Without

I wanted to be a threat.

Newt held me to his chest and shuffled among the crowd carefully.

"We are not dying here."

I didn't care.

I knew it wouldn't matter where we stood, we were all just sitting ducks in a fucked up game. But still, I let Newt 'hide' us underneath the catwalk Hiro's corpse laid. If it comforted him, I guess it was fine.

"Here," He whispered and sat down. "We're out of sight now. Sit here and make yourself as small as possible. And don't say anything."

He squeezed my hand tightly but I was far away from his world.

Small as possible...

Smaller...

***

"Felix! Quick! The basement!"

Calum stood in front of me, worry etched like a carving into his face. He held a baseball bat in one hand and my arm in the other.

He drug us down a flight of stairs to a damp and unfinished basement. There was an unfinished load of laundry sitting in a basket and a washer and dryer that were on its' last legs.

"Here! Hide here." He shoved me in the tight space between the wall and the washer.

"Make yourself as small as possible." He was scared... and was doing his best to hide it. "Whatever happens, don't move! You could die."

I bit my lip and nodded, I didn't want to die.

"I'll keep you safe, I promise."

I wasn't ready to die.

Will it hurt?

My brother left me in the corner and  opened the front door at the top of the stairs in front of me. The pounding at the door stopped and Calum took a swing at people dressed in hard-shelled white armor.

The one in front caught the bat in one hand, "We are here for subject A19." His voice sounded so... monotone. Like a robot, he was a man that did this often.

"No. You can't have him." Calum forced the bat back into his control and took another swing.

A woman behind the man readied a weapon... a gun...

Calum only got one hit in before she shot him, his body spasming electrically on the ground.

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands to try and muffle my sobs.

Small as possible.

They were going to kill me...

Small as possible.

I'm going to die.

Small as possible...

Smaller.

"Felix."

I looked up, Newt was in distress in front of me, crying softly. His hands were on my shoulders but... I couldn't exactly feel them. I still didn't feel real.

"You're not... you're losing it..." I didn't know how to tell him I've already lost it.

Is this what Newt felt all those days ago when he went into the Maze with no intention of coming back?

He wiped a tear from my cheek, I wasn't aware I was crying.

"It's okay, love. I'm going to save us. I know you don't feel real right now... Don't worry, I've got you." Were his words supposed to be comforting? Was I supposed to feel anything?