Trinity & Loki - A Love Affair

Friends First

Trinity was sitting on her couch. Waiting for John. She didn't want to see him but he insisted it had to be today when he got his stuff. Normally she would have just told him to grab and go but it was her day off work, so of course she had to be home. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I wish I had some place to be" she laid down on her couch in a curled up position.
Her phone lit up and when she looked at the caller ID she saw it was Loki.
She smiled some and answered it.
"Hey there charming"
"Hey Trin haha there is nothing I like about that nickname"
"Welp it's yours now...gotta embrace it!"
Loki grinned. "Fine fine...what you up to?"
"Oh just waiting on my ex"
"What in heavens for?"
"He's coming by to get some of his crap and I don't have no place to be...so sitting here being bored waiting"
"You want some company? "
As much as she wanted to say yes she thought it best she didn't get him near John.
"Err no I'll be okay..."
Loki noticed a shift in her. He wanted to proceed but didn't want to push her away further.
"Well if you do need me...you know how to reach me"
"Thanks Loki...I've gotta go now...so I'll see you later" She hung up before he could respond back. She didn't went him to notice her vulnerability...he just use it against her like everyone else.

He sat confused slightly. He didn't understand why she ran away from him when the conversation got to deep. It's almost like she hits a wall and then hides in herself. "What did he do to her?" He thought as he grabbed a book to start reading while waiting.

"Damn it!" She thought to herself. She didn't want to push him away...she just...she just didn't want him to use her emotions against her.
Everyone she had trusted had used her in her entirely and she was just drained.
Suddenly she heard the key turning. "Wtf he just walks in..."
She went and yanked open the door. "Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?"
"Coming to get my stuff...I still live here so I am not knocking"
"You can't just barge in her...what if I had company or wasn't even..."
John cut her off with a smart ass remark as he brushed past her....
"I know you won't have any type of company...no one wants 'walk on eggshells...emotional baggage' type."
She just sighed and followed him into the room. "I labeled the boxes for you so you know whats what..."
"That's nice...." He sat on the bed and looked at her...
"Whatever John...not gonna argue with you..."
His phone went off and he sent a text then put it in his pocket.
"Marie said she had lent you some clothes that she wants back...I think it was a tshirt".
"Umm I never had anything of hers..let alone clothes...we don't even wear the same thing..."
"I don't know but she said you did so obviously you must've at some point"
"Yeah because she didn't just misplace them...I mean that is an option too...or maybe her mom washed them for her
..since she still lives at home?!!"
Trinity tried to contain her temper. She hated how he always some how brought her up in some form.
"Why... why her?" She folded her arms and leaned against door frame
John looked at her confused.
"What do you mean?"
She raised up and tried to keep her emotions in check.
"Of all the girls you could've cheated on me with..why her? Why the one girl I always felt inferior to? The one who I was closest to? ..just guess why you pick her knowing what you know" she gulped down an urge to cry.
"I don't know..." He looked down at his phone again..
"Wait you don't even know why? Thats a bad excuse to ruin our marriage...an I don't know"
He whipped his head back up and narrowed his eyes.
"This was a mutual thing so don't go blaming her now"
John got up and grabbed his box then went out the door.
"Whatever I guess..." She shut the door behind him then she went and sat on her bed.
She curled up into a ball and just stared off into the distance. She was so zoned out that she barely even heard her phone go off.
She ignored it and it rung again...this time she answered..
"Hi"
"Trinity...what happened..what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Im just gonna go now...bye" and she threw the phone across the room.

Loki instantly got up, grabbed his coat and went over to her place. He knocked on her door but there was no answer...he knocked as he slowly opened it.
"Trinny?? You in here?"
He looked for her in the living room, kitchen then seen her bedroom light was on. He walked to her door and knocked gently. "Trinny..hey..what's wrong?"
She raised up sitting. "Why are you here?" She asked without even looking at him.
He seemed startled at the bite in her voice.
"I...I just wanted to make sure you were okay...you sounded off on the phone and I know John was over here earlier..."
"So what...you came to save me?" She whipped her head up and met his eyes. He saw hurt in them.
He sat down next to her. "No that isn't why...we are friends...I came to check on you as a friend..."
"Yeah yeah friend...always someone's last choice...never their first"..she looked away and stared at the floor.
Loki grabbed her hand. "You are someone's first choice. Just because he didn't see you doesn't mean someone else hasn't ".
She looked over at him and met his eyes once more. She couldn't help but stare into those deep green eyes. They definitely sparkled..especially when he tried to help her in these moments.
She wasn't thinking and went in to kiss him.
Loki turned away so the kiss landed on his cheek.
He turned back to her and tried to explain.
"Oh...my..god...i am sorry...." She gasped.
She pushed him back some and stood up. He went to reach for her hand to stop her but she ran into the kitchen before he could even say anything.
"Fuck..." He said as he ran his hand along the back of his neck.

She was standing staring at her sink...she decided to wash some dishes to help her think.
"What did I just do?...shit.."
She heard him quietly walk into the room and slowly sit down at the table.
She kept washing dishes. Didn't want to turn around to face him.
"Please come sit and talk to me?"
She sighed heavily and put the glass that she was cleaning down.
She turned around and grabbed the towel, dried her hands and sat down opposite of him.
She still couldn't look at him. "I am...sorry. I didn't mean..well I mean I did mean it...just I ..I didn't know you didn't want it..."
She was fidgeting with her hands. He gently placed his hand on top of hers.
"That isn't the reason I moved away from it. Oh god, Trinity..like I said..you are definitely someone's first choice...just..." He sighed "right now..we both need a friend more than a relationship."
She looked up at him and sighed. "But I ruined that option right? I am all over the place."
"No you didn't ruin anything. You never do...I wish you wouldn't think so little of me that I am gonna leave at the first minor inconvenience" He leaned back in his chair.
She gulped some. "It's not you, it's me. I know that's cliche but I have spent the better part of the last 10 years apologizing and trying my best to not piss off people that I lost myself. I lost who I was before all this. And you...bring that girl back out...but the one who I became keeps making me think you going to run off too. Especially since I made a fool of myself with you."
"You didn't make a fool of yourself. Honestly, it took everything in me to turn away. I just don't want to confuse you or you do anything you regret when you not in right mindset. And wait, *I* bring out that girl?"
"Yes, you do...and" She sighed. "That scares the absolute hell outta me. I don't want you to see her. I don't want you to be able to use her against me. Like everyone else."
He came next to her and slowly pulled her chair closer to him. "I know this is going to be hard and I know it's going to take some work...but do you trust me? Do you want to do this...first as friends then we shall see? Just us against the world. " He held out his hand without breaking eye contact.
She wanted to run away and hide. She didn't want to show him even a sliver of herself but in the moment, looking into his eyes and seeing his hand reached out, she felt calm...she felt a sense of stability that she hadn't in years.
"And before you even say anything...I would never ever use anything about you against you. I will protect all of you with every fiber of my being"
She hesitated a little then put her hand in his..."you promise? Because I can't take much more" She said as tears ran down her cheeks.
He wiped her face. "I promise!"
He helped her up and bought her close to him.."with all my heart, I promise!"
He stood there for a little while, just holding her.
After a few minutes, he leaned back and looked at her..."Hey go put on your favorite movie, I'll order us some pizza and we can cuddle while stuffing our faces to someone else's drama" He smiled softy
She smiled back up at him. "Sounds like a perfect night! Thank you!" She hugged him tight once more and went to pick out a movie as he called the pizza place.