Chapter Summary: You've had enough.
Trigger Warnings: This prologue contains depictions of depression, suicidal thoughts (not much but you can tell it's there), mental deterioration, self-harm, self-loathing, a mention of rape in the form of self-hatred, and (canon-typical) violence.
This Chapter's Song Lyrics:
-"I Got Some Troubles, But They Won't" is from Sugar Town by Nancy Sinatra which I first heard in Better Call Saul, one of the best shows of all time with solid music like Breaking Bad. Interestingly enough, Sugar Town is used over a similar scene to this fic...when both protagonists, long past their prime, are in a (seemingly) low-stress and secure but miserable, unfulfilled environment with only the (dis)comfort of their melancholic memories and trauma. I wanted this song to serve as a juxtaposition to my OC's depression because I'm sadistically addicted to putting happy-sounding songs over sad shit.
-"While the Memory of You Lingers Like a Song" is from Sleep Walk by Betsy Brye, which is probably most famous for being in the Conjuring soundtrack - which I haven't seen lmao, I just love music and I found it through a YouTube playlist of creepy oldies. I love vintage 20th century American music, and the lyrics of this song easily translate to an interpretation of grief.
While the memory of you lingers like a song...
Waking.
Brushing.
Dressing.
Working.
Home.
Brushing.
Bathing.
Sleeping.
Waking.
Brushing.
Everything is fine. Just change your clothes. Like a functional person.
Working.
Home.
Cry at the graveyard. Jack liked the morbid stuff. Would he cross the line, grieve properly, and reassure you all in one?
It's past midnight. Wanna get mugged?
Almost driving on the wrong side of the road.
Home.
Bathing.
Brushing.
Sleeping.
Waking.
"Hey, are you okay?" worries the latest customer in your line at the local supermarket, where you have been working the past seven years.
Come to work late again. Now you really have failed.
"No, sir. I'm fine, thank you."
Please don't. Please don't pity me. It means nothing. I don't deserve it. Please hate me as much as I hate myself.
Lily, Jess, Timmy, Kerry, Isabelle, Joseph, Mary, June, Jack, Ahmed, Frank, Felipe, Caroline, Hiro, Jason, Helena.
Home.
Takes forever to sleep tonight. But when do you not?
Stop that. What was that Lily told you? Try making up a story in your head. Have fun making your story...writing it...dreaming it...and if that didn't work, then Lily would tell you to...she was so good at coming up with other solutions...
You failed her. You can't even remember what she told you. Even though she made you feel so good. Selfish bitch.
Don't swear, Jess would say.
But you just failed her too, didn't you?
JE LEEST
Meredith: None But the Lonely Heart
Fanfictie"Time is of the essence. It is full of many presents. Some blow up in our faces. Others give loving embraces." - Theresa Ann Moore You're a seemingly ordinary woman on a bullet train. But what the rest of the train doesn't know is that for the l...
