Matter

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Do you need me because I matter....? or do I matter because you need me...?

I believe that as human beings, we often find ourselves inadvertently or perhaps intentionally using others. In the process of using someone, we assign them a false sense of importance based on our immediate needs. For instance, when I am sick, a doctor becomes the most significant person in my life, nearly a 10/10 on the scale of importance. However, when I am well, that same doctor struggles to even register a 1 on the scale.

But where does this leave me? You might wonder...

There have been times when I've felt like my worth was solely determined by my ability to fulfill others' needs. In those moments, I've questioned whether I truly mattered or if I was simply a convenience to those around me. It's a painful realization, one that chips away at the foundation of self-esteem and leaves behind a sense of emptiness.

But then there are moments of clarity, moments when I'm reminded that my value extends beyond my usefulness to others. It's in the genuine connections, the heartfelt conversations, and the shared moments of laughter and joy that I find solace.

Yet, right now....I am not sure that I matter for me..

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