Listen to the Water | FULL SERIES | Wattys 2022 Shortlist | ✔

(29) Taiki: Facets of Family

I can see why Yaz never told me her island name before now.

Ande's departure shifts the whole dynamic in the little cave. When Sar takes off after her, Ruka rises almost immediately. One nod to Casin, and they slip away into the darkness after the pair. I'm left with Yaz and Finika, and El still watching the water outside. He meets Yaz's eye. Neither says anything, but El nods and also leaves. I hug myself. I want to be part of this group, but it's times like this when I understand why I'm just an outsider. These Kels know each other so well, they can have whole conversations without saying a word.

With El gone, we're alone in the alcove. I clench my fingers, finding comfort in their pressure on my arms as I pick between my questions. I settle on the one Ande left hanging before I diverted the topic of conversation.

"Why do you care about the war?" I sign. It's meant for both Yaz and Finika, but Finika doesn't respond—she should have at least seen my lights—and Yaz waves me sideways instead of answering. Finika startles, and there's another wordless exchange. They might as well be speaking a different language.

"Sorry," says Yaz to me then, as they both rearrange themselves. "Blind side. We can just talk over the storm."

It takes me until they've found new spots to realize what that means. Finika sees my confusion and taps her left eye. The one over that facial scar. Blind side. An injury like that could easily take someone's sight if it got infected, though I think that's pretty rare. Most people get access to the healing song long before things get that bad. Finika knows that song, so it must have happened before she learned it.

When they're both settled, I cautiously repeat my question. Yaz flicks a hand at Finika to go first.

She does. "We joined Underfarrow because it was a haven at the time. They were accepting Karu refugees from farther islands in the Gods' Teeth. I'm still here because I think what they're doing is important—it's not just Kels from Rapal that are being smuggled out and sheltered here. That's been the task of this group, but Underfarrow itself does the same with many Karu-Kels." She pauses. "I'm against the war."

I just nod. It's complicated, but I think I'm comfortable saying I am too, now. Getting the islanders to safety isn't worth the number of other innocent lives it would cost, especially among the Karu in the surface waters.

"I don't give a shark's ass-fin what people do with this stupid war," says Yaz. "I'll go wherever I need to to keep anyone from laying a finger on the people I care about."

"Who?" I ask.

She points to Finika. "Fin and family."

"Your tribe family?"

"Birth family. You know how my people work?"

I can't tell if that's a question or a statement. I sort of know how, even if I don't understand it personally. Red signal squid are much stricter about what constitutes "family" than most mid-water Shalda. You have to actually be blood-related to someone to qualify. Or else be a long-term partner. Family groups are tight-knit: core clusters of them stay together, hold a territory, and hunt together. And anyone who joins a different group continues to hold fast to the one they came from, unless some fundamental rift makes a family cut ties.

That, though, only reinforces my confusion. "You would protect them, too? But you said..."

I break off. I don't actually know how to make sense of what Yaz has told me about her family. She's been cryptic, only speaking about them in snatches, and giving very little detail. I know they don't approve of her being close with Finika. I know they kicked her out over it, but I also know she visits them regularly, and I'm almost certain they're the source of all her stories and advice about talking to people over differences in identity.