In your arms

July 19, 2023 - Maya's house

Surprise!!!

Thanks to your always welcome comments I decided to give you a little chapter in anticipation of Friday, when I'm sure something will come that you will like....

Have a great week everyone. 

July 19, 2023 – Maya's house

I am dead tired after being with the team three days in San Diego for a training course related to natural disasters. I love my job, I love the opportunity to compare myself with other response teams, other districts; it's always interesting to try to glean other people's professional secrets, with the goal of getting better and better. On the other hand, however, it is a stressful job emotionally and mentally and obviously it is physically tiring. The three days of training when they come are always a source of joy and pain: as mentioned precisely I love to improve myself, but it is tiring to be immersed in continuous practice, without breaks. Added to this is the fact that once we return home we are given a day off, but from the next day we have to work double shifts, for at least a week, to make up for the shortages of the B shift and the C shift, which in turn will carry out their training. It is a chain of interlocking shifts and schedules, in theory always done in such a way as to preserve our mental and physical health; in practice, however, we often talk about interrupted shifts of 48 hours in a row, with little rest in between.

All this in itself seems to me to be a very good reason why I would have preferred to stay quietly at home tonight, relaxed, in the solitary company of a good movie. Instead just before dinner Vic, Andy, Stephanie and Carina catapulted into my house. I certainly did not expect to find the latter on my doorstep, indeed now she is in my the living room, but from her expression I am sure she too would rather be anywhere but here.

After the discussion of July 04, we did not hear from each other again and did not have a chance to confront each other, but I am sure that neither of us would have reserved sweet words for the other.

Andy drags me into the kitchen, asking me to help her, in my own home!, prepare an aperitif, while waiting to order pizzas.

M < why is she here?> I whisper through my teeth as soon as we walk through the kitchen door. Andy looks up at me.

A < Vic and I had to push so hard to get her here, so try not to screw it up!>

M < me? Why am I always the one in the wrong? >

A < okay..> Andy sighs, before setting the beer bottles down on the kitchen counter and turning to look at me: she has that mommy-wants-to-tell-me-off look that always makes me want to roll my eyes or flee out the window.

A < it's not about being wrong or being right. I think the two of you, both of you, are wasting a great opportunity. Just give yourselves an opportunity to talk tonight, please..> I smile wryly.

M < sure because Steph's presence on the other hand makes everything so smooth...!> I roll my eyes and without giving her a chance to respond, I grab the chips from the pantry and go back to the living room.

It's all the others who are dedicated to keeping the conversation going and avoiding awkward silences. Carina and I spend practically the entire evening exchanging glances, which slowly soften, but without uttering a word. Carina speaks only when asked to and I, for the most part, ignore anyone even when called upon. The only real moment I decide to take matters into my own hands is when moments later Carina addresses me directly.

C < Maya. Can I go to the bathroom?> she asks and I barely nod.

M < sure, you know the way..> Carina nods her head and stands up. At that moment I hear three heads turn toward me, but the only person I can keep my eyes fixed on is Carina. Without even realizing it I feel my legs move, my body pull up from the sofa, and in a few steps I have reached Carina, who is still about to enter the bathroom.