In your arms

August 24, 2023 - Skopelos, Greece

Goodbye Greece, you have been kind to Maya and Carina. Thank you all ! Have a good weekend!

August 24, 2023 - Skopelos, Greece

Our trip to Greece is now in its final throes and by this time tomorrow we will be catapulted back into our realities. I even by this time tomorrow, while battling jet-lag, will be up and running and at the beginning of my 48-hour shift. Perhaps it is the general air of melancholy that seizes everyone at the end of the vacations. Perhaps it is the knowledge, precisely, that we will have an immediate and forced separation of two full days before, perhaps, being able to see each other again. Perhaps it is a sum of factors not even so well specified. The fact is that tonight, looking at the moon and the stars above us, with the calm and peaceful sea in front of us, I feel agitated instead of relaxed.

Usually I am the one hugging Carina, but tonight she is sitting on the sand, holding onto her hands behind her, while I am lying perpendicular to her, my head resting on her legs. We have both been lost in our own thoughts for a while now: silence reigns between us and we are supposedly here to look at the stars, enjoying the night view for the last night. Carina has told me in the past few days how this place, even in its seemingly less romantic sides, reminds her of home. The sound of fishing boats leaving in the middle of the night, for example, or the smell of fresh fish in the morning on the shores. For me it is always mesmerizing to listen to Carina tell parts of herself, of her childhood, of her memories. It is true that we had already been together a year and knew so much about each other, but it is also true that we were much younger. I especially think of myself as definitely more mature than I was then, and I remember vividly how conversations between us always ended on the superficial, on gossiping about our acquaintances or something about the two of us in our present. Now, on the other hand, I realize that there are days that I wish I could get into Carina's mind and heart, even to be able to really understand what she experienced during these years apart, to understand her moods. Carina has always been a smiling, warm and enthusiastic person: she still is, but now and then I can read in her eyes a speck of melancholy, suffering, bitterness that was not there before. And I want everything about her.

C < hey..> Carina interrupts my thoughts by stroking my forehead with her index finger, probably trying to thin any wrinkles I might have given from too many thoughts. < what are you thinking about? Suddenly you seemed so distant..> I just tip my head back to look into her eyes and smile.

M < sorry..> I say quickly. < I just have some thoughts..> she nods slowly.

C < do you want to share them with me?> I'm silent for a moment and think about it, then I choose yes.

M < aren't you afraid?> Carina seems surprised at my question, so I pull myself up and sit across from her. With a few small maneuvers we end up practically embraced, with my legs around her waist and vice versa her legs around mine. My hands caress her hips, while hers stand firm and watchful on my legs.

C < do you have doubts?> she asks me in turn, perhaps a little frightened. I smile, shaking my head.

M < no, absolutely not! I'm scared of going home, though..>

C < why?> I shrug my shoulders.

M < I don't know...everything has been too good here and I'm afraid that the expectations are too high back home and I won't be able to reach them..> Carina frowns and seems to think for a moment.

C < do you mean my expectations or yours?>

M < yours..> Carina smiles, barely shaking her head.