Romeo And Juliet but GenZ » hyunsung

Act 1, Scene 5

[In the same hall in the Capulets’ house]

Juliet (Jisung): I’m gonna get married but I don’t wanna, so what are these people so joyful about?

The Nurse (Chan): Kiddo, they don’t even know that you’re getting married.

Juliet (Jisung): The heck is this feast for, then?

The Nurse (Chan): It’s a 16th century thing. People just threw feasts at the most minor events, like growing your first beard hair or something.

Juliet (Jisung): I’m sick of this already. I’m just here because mum promised me a new hairpin.

The Nurse (Chan): Sometimes, I forget that you’re just thirteen.

Narrator (Ava):
From the other side of the hall,
Eyes gazed into a blissful lock;
As love at first sight made the illusions fall,
The hands fell limp on the wall clock.

Romeo (Hyunjin): (points at Juliet) Who is that?

Benvolio (Jake): Who?

Romeo (Hyunjin):
The one whose brunette locks fall so gently
On her gorgeous face’s everlasting glow;
Her gaze penetrates mine so differently,
True, is it, that time is passing so slow?

Mercutio (Minho): Fuck, bro, he’s already getting all poetic.

Benvolio (Jake): Excuse moi, weren’t you in love with Rosaline?

Romeo (Hyunjin): (distracted) Who’s Rosaline?

Benvolio (Jake): The girl you were yapping about five seconds ago!

Mercutio (Minho): (sipping his drink) Let me remind you that he’s sixteen, and hormones run rampant in him.

Romeo (Hyunjin): (hands his cola to Benvolio) Hold my beer.

Benvolio (Jake): But… that’s not…

[Enter Tybalt and Lord Capulet]

Tybalt (Changbin): Is that roach a Montague? (to a servant) Fetch my sword, we’re gonna have a Montague meat tonight.

Papa Capulet: What’s the deal with you?

Tybalt (Changbin): Uncle, you see that pest? That’s a Montague!

Papa Capulet: Cash him outside, how ‘bout that?

[Exit Papa Capulet]

Tybalt (Changbin): I’m gonna slaughter his head if I see him again.

[Exit Tybalt]

Narrator (Ava):
Romeo sashayed through the crowd,
Eyes fixated on his new lady love;
Even though Benvolio called for him, all clear and loud,
But what could he do? He was in the clouds up above.

Romeo (Hyunjin): May I have a dance with you, m’lady?

Juliet (Jisung): Why, certainly!

[Romeo takes Juliet along for a dance]

The Nurse (Chan): (sighs) Was I this horny, too, when I was a teen? God!

[Romeo and Juliet dance together, arms locked and moving seamlessly to the rhythm]

Romeo (Hyunjin): You know, m’lady, when I was born, I was cursed by a temperamental saint that I would die a terrible death. There was no revoking this curse, but a way to absolve it.

Juliet (Jisung): (intrigued) And what is it?

Romeo (Hyunjin): A kiss from a beautiful maiden. May I?

[Audience hoots as Romeo kisses Juliet]

Juliet (Jisung): You see, mister, that I, too, would be cursed if only you kiss me. Your curse shall remain on my lips lest I kiss you back.

[Audience hoots again as they kiss]

Mercutio (Minho): My man’s smoooooth! He’s got the rizz!

[Enter The Nurse]

The Nurse (Chan): Ay kiddo, your mum wants to speak to you.

Juliet (Jisung): Whatta cockblock!

Romeo (Hyunjin): Who’s her mother?

The Nurse (Chan): Mommy Capulet. She’s Juliet Capulet.

Romeo (Hyunjin): …What the actual-

[Enter Benvolio]

Benvolio (Jake): Get outta here! Mercutio is creating a scene again!

[Romeo and Benvolio watch a drunk Mercutio as he loudly narrates his adventure of killing a man with his thumb]

Mercutio (Minho): (drunk) …And then that fucker went home paralyzed!

Romeo (Hyunjin): Grab him and go!

[Exit Romeo, Benvolio, and Mercutio]

Juliet (Jisung): Who was that man and why was he so hot?

The Nurse (Chan): Gimme a sec, kiddo.

[The Nurse leaves, and returns soon]

The Nurse (Chan): Okay, with my greatest apologies, I would like to tell you that the boy was Romeo Montague, your supposed enemy.

[Clown music sounds]

Juliet (Jisung): Fuck, man, it’s always the sexy ones.

The Nurse (Chan): Language.

Juliet (Jisung): Okay, boomer.