If Only

23. Emily

I wake with a start, warm, comfortable, and wrapped up tight, the scent of spices trapped all around me. Malich's fingers laced lazily with mine over my belly, his arm under my neck as he spoons me. His body was warm, making me feel small and protected in his arms. Here nothing could get me; here, I was safe. I turn gently, trying not to disturb him. My fingers trail down his cheek. He looks so young asleep; awake, he is the big bad Alpha he needs to be. His jaw relaxed, his breathing calm, even the stress of his days off his shoulders. Not worrying about me, his people, or what disaster could be around the corner.

"Emily. What. You ok?" He mumbles, his eyes still closed, pulling me tighter against his chest.
"I'm okay. Go back to sleep."
"Okay." Malachi sighs, nuzzling into my hair, breathing me in deep, his arms flexing around me. I lay in his arms, trying to sleep but failing at every turn. Finally, I ease out of his arms, leaving the warmth of our bed. My head shakes, seeing what he put me to bed in. His soft blue shirt fell around my naked thighs. For a moment I panic, knowing he undressed me, that I was exposed to him, but how was it any difference when he held me, when he marked me? My head shakes, ignoring the thoughts, I could decide on how my life went. I can do this.

I decided to go on a walk, maybe see the glass wall in the night, see the house with everyone dead to the world. I pull on some of his sweatpants, tightening the strings and letting the ends fall around my feet. I slowly creep out of the room with a longing look at him.
The house is still warm at night, which is odd. At home, the house would be bone cold at night; my father liked to say if you couldn't survive the night, maybe you didn't need to; when my so-called family slept in layers of cotton, a fireplace in each room to keep the chill out. My bare feet step lightly against the hardwood floors, sliding when I could pass Ben and Graham's door. It's so quiet, no one crying, no slaps echoing through the house, ones you hope no one was awake to hear. It's quiet. I can hear my breath. I can hear the forest coming alive outside. The owls sing songs for each other, the howls of the wolves hunting and bonding. It's odd.
I find my way to the glass wall downstairs, my eyes taking in the night around me. My arms wrap around my belly, wondering how is this my life? My eyes dance over the trees, up to the sky, the small space between the trees showing the night sky stars trying to light up the night.

"Well. Good Evening." A deep voice full of sarcasm covers me in goosebumps. I fight the shiver of his breath on me.
"Good Evening." I turn, my back ending up against the cool glass.
"Why are you out by yourself? It isn't the place for little cute snow leopards. It's not safe." His fingers trail down my cheek, while another voice laughs "It looks pretty safe to me. What are we going to do?" The second male walks from the shadows, smaller than the first, but somehow he looked deadly, his black eyes hollow keeping him hidden in the shadows.

I flinch back, "Don't touch me," I growl. Malachi is going to be so pissed off at me if I made it through this. 

Never again.

"Why not? I'm friendly enough." The first man smiles, his smirk pulling at his thin lips. My eyes heat, pulling the shining purple through. His eyes glow a dark amber, meeting mine. His nose brushed against mine as he leaned down,

"Get out of my face. Now!" I snarl, feeling my canines ready for this. This time, I would fight back. Never again. Remember. Never again.
"Come on, baby. Don't be like that. We can have fun. Alpha would never need to know. You were practically asking for it on the field." The first male laughs, his dark amber eyes holding the amusement for me.