Manilla Folder With My Confessions

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How I envy the people who are happy 

I never was able to give a smile a try 

I was too scared that people would laugh 

Because my teeth are crooked like a broken fence 


I wish I was a fly on the window sill 

Not having to move, can just die in the sun 

Not having to be forced to have a religion 

Just lying there bleaching from the sun 


Somedays I hear how Daddy was the man 

But remembering how my dad was a ghost 

Breaks my heart and helps the glass shatter 

Because loneliness is the glass shard that cuts 


We all know how the pressure can crush someone's ego 

But my ego was never built so a light wind blows it over 


The manilla folder confesses that I struggled before I drowned 


How I envy myself for being able to distract myself from starving 

I see people getting the second wind taken out of them 

And I see myself in them like it was a mirror made by God 

Reached my hand out but realized the past backstabs and grimaced 


I wish I was a fly on the window sill 

Accepting the fact that they're trapped 

Not having to remember the joys of life  

So they must lay there, bleaching in the sun 


It seems that it comes natural for me to pray 

Because I want people to be safe no matter the evil 

I see my past trauma beating me up so I build 

And a light wind might blow me over but they'll stay strong 


We all know how a single comment can crush someone's psyche  

But my psyche never had a chance to develop, so a light wind blows it over 


The manilla folder confesses that I struggled before I learned to breathe 


I gave up so much for just a little privacy but it's broken 

It's my fault that she died but it's not my fault that they grew 

The credit and flowers I deserve wither away like Beast's rose 

Because in this world you don't matter if you are a burden 

But remember to feel the love that you have 


 I gave up so much for just a little freedom but I'm still shackled 

It's my fault that everyone dies but it's not my fault that they grew

The credit and flowers I deserve die like the window sill bleached flies 

Because in this world you don't matter if you put people before yourself 

But remember to feel the love that you have 


Because you earned the love and respect that you give yourself  


We all know how an accident can cause someone's downfall  

Mother thought I would fall but is shook that I'm still walking 


The manilla folder confesses that I struggled before I learned to swim 

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