Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 16: Am I gay?

I groan at her "Mom im not hungry can I just go?"

She pouts and flips me off.

I return the favor. "Mom come on.... When have I ever wanted to go to school this bad?"

She thinks. And thinks. Then rolls her eyes. "I get that but you need to eat. Tweek make sure he at least eats a pancake." Oh come on!!

Tweek twitches "Thats too much pressure man! Craig just eat!"

I rub my face in annoyance and shove a pancake in my mouth. "Cag he go gow?"

Dad pipes in "Dow cock wif yer mouf ful."

I flip him off "Fuk woo hypicit!"

He flips me off "Ib nogga hypacit! Ib da udult!"

Mon flips us both off "Just go Craig!!" Fine!

I turn my heel and walk out. Tweek follows.

School

I stand outside of a classroom. Not my classroom. Kyles classroom. I need gay advice or something and hes the only gay person I know that in willing to talk to. I walk in and most wave at me. Others are confused as to why im in their class and not my own. I flip those people off.

Of all the people here, I dont see Kyle. I walk up to Clyde.

"Hey buddy... Hows um.. Hows it goin?"

He beams and hugs me. "Good! Great, man! Im able to talk to Tolkien for a good solid 20 minutes without breaking down!" I push him off me.

Wow that is sad...

"Thats um... Go-"

"I can talk for 32 minutes over the phone too!"

I bite my lip. "Um.... Clyde dont take this the wrong way but- Thats fucking sad. How is any of that an accomplishment for you???"

He looks down. "Well uh... I couldnt talk to him at all for 3 weeks after it happened..."

"Is that supposed to make it less sad? I- Forget it." I pat his head. "Wheres Kyle?"

"Not here."

Ah. Helpful.

I peek my head out of the classroom and spit him and Stan coming this way. I run out and stop them in their tracks.

"Kyle I need gay advice!"

Stan looks at me crazy. "Why would you be asking Kyle for gay advice?"

I blink.

"Cause hes gay?"

"Kyles gay?"

"Kyles gay? Wait im Kyle..."

I pinch the brim of my nose. "Guys-"

"How come Craig knows but not me?"

"Well... Uh- Hes gay and so I went to him for advice!"

I stop them there. "Hol up- Im not gay."

Kyle looks at me funny. "Then why ask for gay advice?"

Im silent for a second.

"Shut the fuck up! Its not for me its ummm for Clyde! He said last night him and Tolkien looked at eachother full of love and almost kissed! He wants to know how you know youre gay if youve been sure youre not since day one. Also um... Dont mention this to him. He is but a poor soul..." I lie. What? Im not gonna tell them what we did. Itd ruin my image even more.

Kyle nods and Stan is still trying to figure out why he didnt know Kyle was gay.

"Tell him if he doesnt know he can always experiment."

"Experiment how?"

"Gay porn. That sort of thing always helps you figure it out even if its just a little bit. That and actually kissing a man."

I hum in response. "Got it. Ill watch- Um- Ill get Clyde to watch... Gay porn..... Yeah..... Thanks Kyle!!"

I walk away from them to my own class. When I get home im watching gay porn! Yeah!

I sit down in my seat.

...

Whys this taking so long? I raise mt hand.

"Mr. Garrison when will this be over?"

"When you finally get some bitches on your dick."